People believe that arts like painting and music does not directly improve the quality of life, and therefore they think government’s money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #music #quality #life #government’s #money

Some people believe that

arts

like painting and

music

do not directly improve the quality of life and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should spend

money

on other parts of society. I totally disagree. I believe that

arts

play an important role in our

lives

. It is crucial for human beings because of several reasons.

This

essay discusses the importance of

art

in our

lives

Art

is not only all around us, but

also

it makes our

lives

more beautiful and lovely. On the one hand,

music

, theatre, and painting are all around our daily

lives

. looking at the old cultural building near our house, we can see

art

. Listening to a piece of smooth

music

on TV is

art

. Even during a small walk in the street, you can hear a song.

On the other hand

, professional

art

values our

lives

. Nowadays, governments place a lot of importance on the different types of

art

and invest some

money

in them. there is a lot of research which has proven the different positive impacts of

arts

in people's

lives

. Recently, I read an article about the positive effects of

music

in teaching.

music

is used as a strong tool in educational practice.

For instance

, making a song about a topic makes the learning process easier, or painting an odd shape, by a 3-year-old girl helps her enhance creativity. It is really important that the governments place importance on all different kinds of

art

. In conclusion, Some people believe that

arts

like painting and

music

do not directly improve the quality of life and the government should spend

money

on other parts of society. There are several research which have proven

arts

play an important role in our

lives

. It not only makes our life more beautiful, but

also

art

Change the article

show examples

essential tool in education.

Therefore

the governments should spend

money

art

Submitted by rozakoohvand on Thu Nov 07 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will help illustrate your points more vividly and convincingly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a consistent structure by clearly linking your ideas and arguments. Adding transition words can improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

The essay clearly disagrees with the statement and provides a clear thesis in the introduction, setting up the stance effectively.

coherence cohesion

You provided a strong conclusion by reiterating your main points, which reinforces your stance to the reader.

supported main points

The essay contains solid arguments supporting the value of arts in society, backed by referencing research and education benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People believe that arts like painting and music does not directly improve the quality of life, and therefore they think government’s money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some cities, people prefer riding bicycles rather than drive cars. In some other cities, people choose to drive cars rather than ride bicycles. What are the reasons for their preferences? Which one do you think is a better development?

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Taking a year of between finishing school and starting university is a waste of students' time. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. many people think that government should focus on encouraging local businesses rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?

Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.