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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table and charts give information about doctors in Australia between 1186 and 2006

The table and charts give information about doctors in Australia between 1186 and 2006
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The table demonstrates how many people in
Australia
Use synonyms
 worked as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
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 in 1986, 1996 and 2006,
while
Linking Words
 the bar charts show their genders and where they are originally from in the same years. It is,
overall
Linking Words
, apparent that the quantity of both male and female
doctors
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 grew noticeably, with males dominating throughout the given period. Of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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particular note is that the percentage of native-Australian
doctors
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 declined,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of non-natives went up, eventually showing
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 equal share
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. Looking at the table, there were 23,720
doctors
Use synonyms
 working in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 1986, which witnessed an increase in numbers, reaching 29,060 a decade later. That figure
then
Linking Words
 ended with 35,450
doctors
Use synonyms
 in 2006. As far as gender is concerned, male
doctors
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 were much more than female ones in all given years,
although
Linking Words
 the percentage of male
doctors
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 declined and that of women went up. Roughly 75% of
doctors
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 were males in 1986, 3 times greater than female
doctors
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. In 1996, the figure was about 66% and a half of it for males and females, respectively.
This
Linking Words
 indicator changed to slightly more than 60% for male
doctors
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 10 years later, meaning nearly 40% of
doctors
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 were females. As for their birthplace, more than 60% of
doctors
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 were from
Australia
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 in 1986,
while
Linking Words
 the rest belonged to non-native Australians. A decade later,
this
Linking Words
 figure was less than 60% for
doctors
Use synonyms
 born in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 about 42% were those from other countries. Coming to the
last
Linking Words
 given year, the number of
doctors
Use synonyms
 born in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and overseas
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 the same
due to
Linking Words
 the decline of Australian
doctors
Use synonyms
 and the growth of
doctors
Use synonyms
 from foreign countries.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, doctors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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