IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

To day news plays a crucial role in people’s lives and more significantly influences people then before. Why is this case? Is it positive or negative development?

#news #role #people’s #lives #influences #people #case #development
Nowadays,in our modern society
news
 has an essential capacity in
people
’s
lives
 and affects them considerably than ever. I think development has negative influences on society. On the one hand,the ways of delivery have increased.
This
 has a huge impact on
people
's
lives
 because in the past there were only a few ways to get
news
 like radio, newspaper and so on .
For example
,If a person is surrounded by
news
 from all sides as it happening now affects
people
's
lives
.
However
,nowadays, using the Telegram app,
people
 can get instant
news
 and stay informed about their surroundings.
Nonetheless
, In the past,
people
 would have to buy a newspaper or, wait for determined hours on TV to receive
news
. there were only specific times when
news
 was broadcast on TV.
On the other hand
,
news
 has a negative impact on
people
's
lives
. If
people
 watch too much
news
, it can be bad for them,
for example
, war
news
 can cause stress and anxiety.
For instance
 ,
according to
 a 2024 study, 40 per cent of
people
 are angry because of the
news
. Because controversial headlines outnumber positive headlines, journalists try to come up with screaming headlines to pique public interest.
Overall
,
people
 would avoid following the
news
 as much as possible and try to prevent stress from affecting them. In conclusion,
news
 not only affects
people
. Through evolving technology, it can
also
 have negative effects.
Therefore
,
people
 should try to limit effects
such
 as stress and fear by reducing the amount of
news
 they have to listen to.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points for better illustration and depth in your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Review your introduction to ensure it clearly outlines the essay structure that will follow.
task achievement
Make sure your arguments expand sufficiently on the topic to fully address the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, which nicely frames your discussion.
task achievement
You have a good range of relevant ideas addressing the topic, indicating a good understanding of the essay question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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