Educating young people is naturally important. However, some think governments ught to invest more education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Education
plays a vital role in the development of the country
and educated juveniles are crucial for the nation. It is believed by some people that the administration should spend huge revenue on the academic sector because it is necessary for young people. If questioned, I bolster with such
a notion to a major extent. My inclination is elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs.
There are myriad reasons why I opine that authorities ought to invest more funds in education
for youngsters in need. The most pivotal one is that it is fruitful to reduce the crime rate. In other words
, if governments build some infrastructure of education
, they could achieve excellent education
as a result
they will become good citizens who cannot join any illegal works
.
Fix the agreement mistake
work
Furthermore
, another striking reason is that it is lucrative for the country
's economy. By this
, I mean that well-educated youth create their own business which helps in the growth of the country
's economy through paying taxes. One good illustration is Oyo company, the CEO of Oyo company graduated from government college and nowadays he pays some tax
to his Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
country
.
On the contrary
, I shall not overlook the other side too. To begin
with, it has a pessimistic impact on adults. This
is because,
governments invest more money in educational purposes Remove the comma
apply
thus
some young people misuse their amenities. For instance
, the government of India provides tablets to students who enter higher education
afterwards some learners use these tablets for other activities rather than educational purposes.
Thus
, to conclude
the discussion, it can be finally
commented that despite some students may misuse government facilities, my arguments justify that it is beneficial for the nation such
as it helps to reduce illegal work as well as
increase the country
's economy.Submitted by pramodv997 on
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logical structure
Aim to develop your arguments in more depth with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. This will help enhance the logical structure of your essay.
complete response
Try to provide a balanced view where you discuss and extend on the counterarguments more thoroughly. This will demonstrate an understanding of different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance flow and transition between ideas. This will improve coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that appropriately addressed the task.
relevant specific examples
You included relevant examples that supported your main points, such as the reference to the Oyo company.
task achievement
The essay covers key points related to the task, such as the impact on crime rates and economic growth, which shows an understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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