Many people nowadays spent a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Most
people
spend a lot of their leisure time using a smartphone currently. Some
people
opine that
this
is a bad development, and it hurts our eyes. Others state that
due to
this
creation, our lives become more convenient. I personally believe
this
could be a good invention,
although
it has some drawbacks, and I will explain why in the following paragraphs. To start with, a smartphone is a very useful tool, and we can use it to do many things. In the old days, it was required to bring a laptop with you, if you needed to do something related to business outside.
However
, a smartphone is relatively smaller and cheaper, and you can take it anywhere you like.
As a result
, nowadays
people
like to use their
phones
instead
of laptops. Many engineers design apps for phone users to enjoy their hobbies. With a phone, you can watch funny clips from TikTok, download music apps from the App Store to play instruments, use social media to chat with friends, and so on.
As a result
, we tend to spend a lot of time on our
phones
.
Phones
enrich our lives, and I can not imagine our lives without
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In a nutshell, more and more things can be done by us through
phones
, and
that is
the reason why you can see an increasing number of
people
playing on their cell
phones
.
Also
, a phone is very small, and it is very easy to carry with you. Owing to its handiness and multi-functions,
people
enjoy using it.
Submitted by edward300225 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, consider clearly delineating the arguments and providing a smooth flow from one idea to the next. You can achieve this by using more transitional phrases.
task achievement
For comprehensive ideas, ensure that each point is fully developed with detailed explanations and sufficient support to improve clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid framework for your arguments.
task achievement
Examples provided, such as the usage of TikTok and social media, are relevant and help illustrate the points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • digital addiction
  • instant gratification
  • multifunctional
  • connectivity
  • social networking
  • online services
  • self-expression
  • entertainment options
  • instant access
  • educational resources
  • communication tools
  • virtual interactions
  • distracted living
  • technological dependence
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