IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some universities require students to take classes in many subjects. Other universities require students to specialize in one subject. Which is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Learning different
subjects
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 is compulsory in some universities,
while
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 other universities concentrate on only the relevant and essential
subjects
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. I believe that knowing about a variety of topics helps
students
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 improve different
skills
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, which will be helpful in their professional and personal lives after graduation. Taking classes in different
subjects
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 expands the
students
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' horizons. I mean it helps them enhance necessary
skills
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, which is not only helpful in their personal lives but
also
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 it will be helpful in their professional
career
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.
For example
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, a business course might seem unnecessary for a theatre student, but it will be really helpful when he or she wants to make money, or taking a psychology course might lead to personal growth and better communication in a professional
career
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.
On the other hand
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, expanding knowledge in different
subjects
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 improves problem-solving
skills
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, which I believe
it
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apply
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is the most important feature of a professional
career
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. It helps
students
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 when they face a new problem, look at it from different views, and they can find better solutions.
For instance
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, imagine a graphic designer working in an international company. The designer must create a logo for a local restaurant in a small, traditional city in India.
Firstly
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, apart from designing knowledge, he or she should know a little bit about Indian culture and their interest. If the student took a history class at university, it would be helpful for designing a more influential logo now. In conclusion,
although
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 some universities focus on only relevant and essential courses, I believe it is important that the
students
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 expand their knowledge about different
subjects
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 and enhance a variety of
skills
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. It not only leads to personal growth but
also
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 helps them progress in their
career
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Aim to enhance the logical structure within paragraphs. Each point or idea should clearly follow from the one before, with smooth transitions between them.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each main point is supported with clear, relevant examples to thoroughly illustrate your ideas and strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Focus on developing more comprehensive ideas by elaborating on each main point. Provide deeper insight into how studying various subjects impacts personal and professional growth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets out the topic and presents a clear stance, which effectively sets the stage for your argument.
Task Achievement
You maintain a clear focus on task achievement by directly addressing the essay prompt and providing relevant examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main argument, reinforcing your position and rounding off your essay neatly.
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