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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encourage to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified worked such as electrians and plumbers. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #study #lack #electrians #plumbers
The chart shows the comparison of how many international
students
 are studying at the cathedral school and where they come from.
Overall
, the
number
 of
students
 that come from Southeast Asia remained the highest during the
period
.
Students
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Africa and the Middle East significantly increased within the given time.
Students
 that come from South Africa decreased until the
end
 of the
period
. The
number
 of
students
 in Europe was fluctuation at that time. The
number
 of
students
 in Southeast Asia illustrated about 24 at the beginning of the
period
, later, in 1999, it dramatically declined to 16. Fortunately, by 2000, it continued to grow, again and it was 20. By the
end
 of the
period
, it rose sharply to 27. At the beginning of the time, the
Correct quantifier usage
number of
show examples
students
 in Africa and the Middle East
were11
Correct your spelling
were 11
, but, during the
period
, it began to rise slowly. In 1999,
students
 that came from there was 13,
then
, in the next year, it rose to 15.
At the
end
 of the
period
, it showed 18. In 1998, the
number
 of
students
 in South America
was15
Correct your spelling
was 15
. But, it decreased gradually to 10 in 1999. In the next year, it was 8,
then
, in 2001, it declined to 7.
Students
 that
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 from Europe were 10 at the beginning of the
period
. It increased to 12 in 1999. But,
then
, it dramatically decreased to 6. By the
end
 of the
period
, it rose to 8.
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introduction conclusion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. This helps readers understand the main purpose right from the start and leaves them with a clear understanding of your perspective at the end.
structured ideas
Ensure all data trends and comparisons are clearly outlined. Consider breaking the data down further or summarizing key points concisely to improve clarity.
trend identification
The essay successfully identifies the general trends in the data, such as increases and decreases for different regions.
use of data
The essay includes specific data and figures to support the trends being discussed, which helps in achieving a fuller task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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