Discuss advantages and disadventages of raising a pet in modern society.
Nowadays,The number of
people
who have a pet
has increased.Some people
even choose to raise a pet
instead
of having their own children due to
its convenience and economic.Thus
,there is an inconclusive as to whether a pet
provides them with advantages or not.In the following paragraphs,both the benefits and drawbacks will be discussed in detail.
To begin
with,Pets can be loyal peers that help individuals cope with their mental problems.In modern society, the incidence of mental issues has increased rapidly due to
technological advancement and globalization.These two factors make workers face more competition and also
,technology makes people
grow apart.All of these causes lead to a lack of mental support for people
in this
generation.Pet
plays an important role in this
due to
its loyalty.There is scientific research proof that raising pets is one way of treatment in
mental illnesses.Change preposition
for
Moreover
,having a pet
makes people
develop to be better persons and have more responsibility because a pet
is dependent so,they have to take care of it during its lifespans.
On the other hand
,critics argue that this
little creatures are lavish.The pet
industry has grown significantly in the past decades because people
are willing to spend extravagantly on this
.People
must have a solid financial statement before considering having one.Every month expenditure can be spent on food,healthcare and toys.Additionally
,some species of pet
cannot be abandoned at home alone because of their attachment to humans whereas
,in some careers,they are not allowed to have the capability to do that resulting in pet
mental problems.
In conclusion,although
a lot of income of pet
parents have an obligation to spend on their furry children,I can reassure you from my experience having a pet
is worth every dollar since it provides you with a reason to live and a good supporter yet,the readiness need to be considered before having one.Submitted by chawanat.pla on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear structure, consider using transition words to enhance the flow between ideas. This will contribute to improved logical structure and coherence.
task achievement
Expand on your examples with more specific details or scenarios to enhance the relevance and specificity of the points discussed.
language accuracy
There are a few minor grammatical errors. While they don't significantly impact the clarity, pay attention to spacing and punctuation, as in 'all of these causes' without 'all of these cause' or spaces after commas (e.g., 'To begin with,Pets...' should be 'To begin with, pets...').
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to understand the main argument.
task achievement
You've identified key issues and provided a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of raising pets in modern society.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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