Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been an ongoing debate about adding financial
education
Use synonyms
to
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
show examples
as a compulsory subject, since
to
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
helpful for
students
Use synonyms
to understand the meaning of
money
Use synonyms
efficiency. I extremely disagree with
this
Linking Words
opinion. True, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
some
reasons
Use synonyms
why it is suggested. First and foremost, children can understand the value of
money
Use synonyms
in their formative years. They may
release
Verb problem
realise
show examples
that
money
Use synonyms
does not grow
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
trees and they have to try and work
for earning
Change preposition
to earn
show examples
it.
This
Linking Words
, in turn,
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
them to start planning their future or trying to find some easier ways for how they can earn
money
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is essential to make
money
Use synonyms
when they become mature, since it may create some challenges to provide with
money
Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
kids,
for
Correct your spelling
'
parents. So, if they learn and comprehend that at school ages, they may reduce the amount of
money
Use synonyms
which they spend on
their
Change the word
a
show examples
daily basis and save them for important something. Despite the
reasons
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I mentioned above, I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of not
Use synonyms
education
Replace the word
educating
show examples
students
Use synonyms
in terms of
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
,
due to
Linking Words
some
reasons
Use synonyms
. One is there
lots
Add a missing verb
are lots
show examples
of
subjects
Use synonyms
which
students
Use synonyms
should learn and all of them are important for them, so, removing some of
Use synonyms
subjects
Add an article
the subjects
show examples
from
curriculum
Correct article usage
the curriculum
show examples
and adding financial
education
Use synonyms
may not
good
Add a missing verb
be good
show examples
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
may trigger
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of knowledge from
subjects
Use synonyms
which are removed.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
of
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
they taught,
students
Use synonyms
may become
overload
Wrong verb form
overloaded
show examples
and
this
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
them stress
show examples
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
or
disappointment
Replace the word
disappointed
show examples
, owing to can not do all
tasks
Correct article usage
the tasks
show examples
from all
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
have to
do
Verb problem
gain
show examples
financial experience in real life and financial
education
Use synonyms
is something which
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
teach
Wrong verb form
be taught
show examples
, it can learned by oneself.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
there are many beneficial sides
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
adding financial
education
Use synonyms
to
school's
Correct article usage
a school's
show examples
curriculum as a mandatory subject,
such
Linking Words
as understanding the value of
money
Use synonyms
and
learning
Add the particle
learning to
show examples
save it, I support that not educating it,
according to
Linking Words
some
reasons
Use synonyms
including
this
Linking Words
may create overwhelming and stress to them.
Submitted by Writing9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Improve clarity by ensuring that each argument is clearly stated and fully developed before moving on to the next point.
task achievement
Aim to provide more relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Focus on strengthening the logical flow between paragraphs and ensuring that each supports the central argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
Good attempt at addressing both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial literacy
  • Mandatory
  • Budgeting
  • Economic stability
  • Fiscal health
  • Credit
  • Interest rates
  • Investments
  • Curriculum
  • Informed decisions
  • Personal debt
  • Savings
  • Taxes
  • Expenditures
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Money management
  • Financial planning
  • Economic education
  • Financial competence
What to do next:
Look at other essays: