Many people leave the countryside for the greater opportunities which are offered by citties.This move is not without disadvantages for both people and the environment. What are some benefits and drawbacks of urbanization?
Nowadays, folks who live in the rural area tend to leave their villages for better conditions that can be found only in the
cities
, who offers a number of various facilities. As a result
of urbanization
, pollution has increased in the cities
, while
in the rural areas, fewer and fewer people
are living there. In this
essay, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of urbanization
.
Firstly
, cities
have a lot much to offer than the countryside
, numerous people
choose to leave for better work opportunities and also
for higher education which can be found only in the bigger cities
. For example
, the community of the city benefits from a larger hand of workers which can help in the growth of the finance department and also
have by their side more educated folks. Therefore
, cities
attract people
from the countryside
for their facilities which can help them evolve not only financially but also
with gaining knowledge.
Secondly
, the mass of people
who abandon the countryside
for cities
leads to the rise of teenancy, due to
the fact that the growth of urbanization
cause finding a place to live harder than before. In addition
, the proportion of pollution has increased because of urbanization
, while
in the countryside
the pollution of the air is less. For example
, folks who choose to study in the bigger cities
, rarely find accommodation as the city is full of immigrants and even if they find one it is really expensive for their budget.
In conclusion, urbanization
helps other people
from different areas to evolve as it gives them a plethora of opportunities, however
, the departure can have an impact on the mental health of the individual due to
the fact that they are leaving family and friends behind in order to discover themselves.Submitted by annaungureanu794 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and reducing small errors, such as 'folks who live in the rural area' should be 'folks who live in rural areas', and 'the community of the city benefits from a larger hand of workers' should be 'the community of the city benefits from a larger workforce'.
Content
Address counter-arguments or consider multiple perspectives to strengthen your essay. For instance, mentioning how urbanization might support rural areas economically through remittances can provide a more balanced view.
Cohesion
Improve the transition between some points to create a smoother flow of ideas. Use more cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'However', and 'Furthermore' appropriately to connect your ideas better.
Structure
The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
Content
Your main points are clear and generally well-organized, providing a logical structure to your essay.
Examples
You have used specific examples to support your ideas, which adds depth to your argument. For example, the point about finding accommodation being harder in cities due to urbanization is well-explained.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...