Nowadays many young people are drawn towards dangerous sports. What makes them so attractive? What measures should be taken to regulate such sports and minimise the risks?

#people #sports #measures #minimise #risks

Nowadays, dangerous

sports

have become more popular among the younger generation. There are several reasons for doing

such

activities

This

essay discusses the reasons and suggests measures that can minimise the risks. Young

people

are attracted to dangerous

sports

these days for several reasons.

Firstly

, doing

such

activities

releases adrenaline in the body which makes them feel happier.

Secondly

, some young

people

find that interesting and exciting.

For example

, one of my old friends was attracted to the Parkour.

Although

it was really hard to do, he was doing it for several years. In one of his practices, he fell down, and his arm was broken. After that, he could not continue it.

Finally

, some young

people

such

activities

to forget their problems.

Although

dangerous

sports

may cause injuries, there are several measures that can minimise risks. I believe that there should be some strict rules for doing dangerous

sports

. I mean, not anyone can be able to do that.

For instance

, children and young

people

who do not have strong bodies should not be allowed to do

such

sports

Also

, a qualified trainer should observe the participants during their

activities

For example

, if my friend whom I mentioned before, did his practice under the supervision of a professional, his arms would not break and he would be able to continue his interest. Despite the probability of injuries, nowadays, dangerous

sports

have become more popular among young

people

. They are exciting and attract the younger generation. I believe that for minimising the risks of injuries, some strict rules should be introduced.

Submitted by rozakoohvand on Fri Nov 08 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a logical flow. This can be improved by linking ideas more explicitly between sentences.

Task Achievement

Expand on ideas and provide more detailed analysis to fully explore the reasons for attraction to dangerous sports.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more specific examples and data to support points, especially in the second body paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points.

Task Achievement

Identifies key reasons why young people are attracted to dangerous sports, addressing the task well.

Task Achievement

Suggestions on regulation and risk minimization are practical and relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Extreme sports
Adrenaline rush
Thrill-seeking
Emotional experience
Peer pressure
Social influence
Community
Glamorous
Idolize
Safety protocols
Regulations
Certification
Equipment checks
Professionals and experts
Supervision
Guidance
Prevent accidents
Informed consent
Age restrictions

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Nowadays many young people are drawn towards dangerous sports. What makes them so attractive? What measures should be taken to regulate such sports and minimise the risks?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?

In many countries import food from other contry of the world.what are the advantages and disadvantages of this kasur.

Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?