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Writing Samples
Band 6

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this is outweigh the disadvantages?

#demand #gas #oil #sources #areas #necessity
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In the 21st century, oil and gas are crucial to most industries, leading to challenges in meeting the growing demand.
As a result
, there is an increasing need to explore remote and untouched areas for new
sources
. Exploring remote areas for oil and gas can have significant negative impacts on the environment. Natural habitats,
such
 as forests and rivers, may be destroyed to make way for industrial facilities, displacing wildlife and disrupting ecosystems.
Additionally
, the search for new energy
sources
 can lead to illegal activities, as individuals and corporations might resort to unauthorized exploration methods to secure these resources.
On the other hand
, renewable energy exploration is often viewed as more sustainable for the environment. Unlike fossil fuels, renewable
sources
 produce less pollution and are more easily replenished.
Moreover
, developing new energy
sources
 can create significant job opportunities, as extensive resources and
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 are required for exploration and production, benefiting local economies. In conclusion,
while
 searching for new oil and gas
sources
 can lead to environmental damage and illegal activities, it
also
 brings potential benefits
such
 as sustainability and job creation.
However
, it is crucial for governments to carefully monitor and regulate these activities to minimize their negative impacts on both nature and communities.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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development advice
To strengthen your argument, consider providing more specific examples of both the potential environmental impacts and economic benefits.
coherence advice
Ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the question about whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
structure highlight
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
organization highlight
The main points are logically structured and effectively address both sides of the argument.
clarity highlight
Your language is clear and your ideas are well-articulated, making the essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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