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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past people could only eat food grown locally and in the season. Now it is possible to have any kind of food from all over the world at any time of the year. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today’s advanced world,
despite
Change preposition
apply
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where
people
Use synonyms
 are living, accessibility to various kinds of
foods
Use synonyms
 is becoming so easy.
In contrast
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, in the past
people
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 did not
used
Change the verb form
use
show examples
 to eat a variety of
foods
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. I strongly believe that the
benefits
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 of
this
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 trend outweigh the drawbacks which will be discussed. First of all, in the past
due to
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 lack of
transition
Add a comma
transition,
show examples
 many local
people
Use synonyms
 tended to eat just local
foods
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.
Thus
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, eating local
foods
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 not only brings a sense of
comfy
Correct your spelling
comfort
show examples
 for local
people
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 but can
also
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 help agriculture produce their products for many years. A prime example of
this
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 is
banana
Correct article usage
the banana
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, a delicious fruit, which is grown in specific areas
such
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 as Africa
contain
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. So,
people
Use synonyms
 who lived in Asia did not recognize
this
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 fruit.
As a result
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, many individuals just ate and used their local products.
On the other hand
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, in recent years,
due to
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 advances in technology and transitions, a significant number of
people
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 can easily access various
foods
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, ranging from fruits to a variety of local
foods
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, all around the world. So,
this
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 approach not only offers significant
benefits
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 to
people
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 but can
also
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 help individuals, who are interested in
foods
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, test different
foods
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.
For instance
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, one kind of
plants
Fix the agreement mistake
plant
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 which name is ginger can offer significant
benefits
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 for
overall
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humans'
Change noun form
humans
show examples
 health. By placing more emphasis on health, it is essential to have access for both societies and individuals as a whole. In conclusion,
although
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 in the past
people
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 used to eat local
foods
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, in the current era
due to
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 several reasons
people
Use synonyms
 can approach various ingredients from any area of the world.
Therefore
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, the advantages
such
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 as health
benefits
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on each point to enhance the task response, providing more detailed explanations for your arguments and examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas for improved coherence.
coherence cohesion
You've structured the essay well with a clear introduction and conclusion, which is a strong aspect of coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You've engaged with both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced task response.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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