In some countries, an increasing number of children are overwehight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from shcool canteen is the best way to fight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Juvenile
obesity
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has become a burning issue nowadays. Recent
study
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studies
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showed a
dramatical
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dramatic
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growth
of
Change preposition
in
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consuming fast
foods
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which resulted in
obesity
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in
school
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-going
children
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in some regions across the globe.
That is
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why some people think that
this
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type
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of
food
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should be banned from
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school
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the school
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canteen in order to save their
children
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from
obesity
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. In my opinion,
this
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type
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of harmful should be prohibited from those shops without any doubt. Fast
food
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is gaining its popularity day by day among the youngsters. They are tempted by the appealing presentation and delicious taste of these
foods
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.
Also
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, fast
foods
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are alluring because of their availability and aggressive pricing and in that case, it is so easy to get any of them without spending much effort. As
school
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children
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are the main consumers of these
foods
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, they are the
one
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ones
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to suffer the consequences.
However
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, the proportion of fat remains very high in fast
foods
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in order to make them attractive and tasty. They
also
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lack a proper amount of
fiber
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fibre
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and other healthy nutrients.
As a result
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, the
foods
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are very unhealthy by all means. Consumption of these
foods
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creates lots of side effects on the body among which fat deposition is the most common issue. Consuming fast
foods
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regularly causes
accumulation
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the accumulation
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of vast adipose fat tissues in the body which leads to
obesity
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.
Nevertheless
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,
obesity
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is a crucial factor for other additional dysfunctions of organs and disease conditions.
For instance
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, both
type
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one and
type
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two diabetes are the outcome of sustained
obesity
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as well as
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other difficulties like hypertension, anxiety and so on.
Besides
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, hygiene gets compromised in case of preparing these
foods
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which may bring other health hazards.
For example
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, these unhygienic
foods
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can act as the sources of different virus-borne and bacteria-borne diseases like cholera, diarrhoea and many others. For
this
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, fast
foods
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should be banned from the
school
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premises as the kids are unaware of the harmful effects most of the time and get tempted to buy fast
foods
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. In conclusion, I definitely recommend prohibiting all kinds of fast
food
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from the
school
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canteen.
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Also
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Also,
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it is necessary to promote healthy
foods
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among the
children
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as well as
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to aware them of the lethal effects of fast
food
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.
Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on

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task achievement
Ensure to address all parts of the task comprehensively. Here, you could expand on potential drawbacks of banning fast food from school canteens, which would demonstrate a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression by linking ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Adding linking words or transitional phrases can make the flow of the essay even better.
task achievement
Clear position and consistent argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a thoughtful introduction and conclusion, bookending the main arguments nicely.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with examples, demonstrating understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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