In some countries, an increasing number of children are overwehight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from shcool canteen is the best way to fight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Juvenile
obesity
has become a burning issue nowadays. Recent study
showed a Fix the agreement mistake
studies
dramatical
growth Replace the word
dramatic
of
consuming fast Change preposition
in
foods
which resulted in obesity
in school
-going children
in some regions across the globe. That is
why some people think that this
type
of food
should be banned from school
canteen in order to save their Correct article usage
the school
children
from obesity
. In my opinion, this
type
of harmful should be prohibited from those shops without any doubt.
Fast food
is gaining its popularity day by day among the youngsters. They are tempted by the appealing presentation and delicious taste of these foods
. Also
, fast foods
are alluring because of their availability and aggressive pricing and in that case, it is so easy to get any of them without spending much effort.
As school
children
are the main consumers of these foods
, they are the one
to suffer the consequences. Correct pronoun usage
ones
However
, the proportion of fat remains very high in fast foods
in order to make them attractive and tasty. They also
lack a proper amount of fiber
and other healthy nutrients. Change the spelling
fibre
As a result
, the foods
are very unhealthy by all means. Consumption of these foods
creates lots of side effects on the body among which fat deposition is the most common issue. Consuming fast foods
regularly causes accumulation
of vast adipose fat tissues in the body which leads to Correct article usage
the accumulation
obesity
. Nevertheless
, obesity
is a crucial factor for other additional dysfunctions of organs and disease conditions. For instance
, both type
one and type
two diabetes are the outcome of sustained obesity
as well as
other difficulties like hypertension, anxiety and so on.
Besides
, hygiene gets compromised in case of preparing these foods
which may bring other health hazards. For example
, these unhygienic foods
can act as the sources of different virus-borne and bacteria-borne diseases like cholera, diarrhoea and many others. For this
, fast foods
should be banned from the school
premises as the kids are unaware of the harmful effects most of the time and get tempted to buy fast foods
.
In conclusion, I definitely recommend prohibiting all kinds of fast food
from the school
canteen. Also
it is necessary to promote healthy Add a comma
Also,
foods
among the children
as well as
to aware them of the lethal effects of fast food
.Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on
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task achievement
Ensure to address all parts of the task comprehensively. Here, you could expand on potential drawbacks of banning fast food from school canteens, which would demonstrate a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression by linking ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Adding linking words or transitional phrases can make the flow of the essay even better.
task achievement
Clear position and consistent argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a thoughtful introduction and conclusion, bookending the main arguments nicely.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with examples, demonstrating understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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