Each individual should be held fully responsible for their own health, so government should not be responsible for covering the medical fees of their people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

It is sometimes argued that it is important for individuals to protect
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves,
therefore
government
does not need to provide financial
support
for them
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
medical charges. Personally, I mostly disagree with
this
claim because
people
have a
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
even if they continue to conduct prevention for the harmful virus and it costs too expensive to use hospitals. On the one hand, those who stand by the opinion that
people
should prevent catching a bad virus argue that the
government
should better spend the money using medical roles on other necessary things
such
as educational
support
and boosting the economy.
For example
, if the
government
gives more subsidies to poor families, the
people
might be able to gain many opportunities to learn and experience attractive events
such
as study abroad and factory tours. The experience for children allows them the future possibilities.
On the other hand
,
although
there are negative aspects
covering
Change preposition
to covering
show examples
medical fees by the
government
, many
people
think that it is vital for
people
to be supported by the
government
regarding medical care.
While
some
people
say that you can protect yourself from dangerous
favors
Change the spelling
favours
show examples
by washing hands and taking masks,
however
sometimes the solutions lead
waste
Add the particle
to waste
show examples
of time.
For instance
, when COVID-19 spread globally, almost all
people
prevented
Add a missing verb
were prevented
show examples
carefully and used masks.
Nevertheless
, there are many
people
who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
COVID-19.
As a result
, a lot of
people
died.
Additionally
, medical fees cost a lot in current society. In Japan, many
people
can discount the amount of money by showing their number cards. If the
government
does not conduct
this
action,
people
might not want to go to hospitals.
This
trend leads to an increase in
people
who have bad viruses. In conclusion, though prevention
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
is important for each individual, the
government
should continue to add medical financial
support
to save citizens.
Therefore
I largely disagree
government
should not have roles to
support
medical fees.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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task achievement
Strengthen the essay by providing more detailed examples or evidence to support your points. This will enhance the relevance and specificity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth transition between ideas by using linking words or phrases. It will help in maintaining the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt well by taking a clear stance and providing arguments to support it.
coherence cohesion
The essay consistently follows a logical structure, presenting each idea in a clear and concise manner.

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