In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems and state what do you think is better?
It is undeniable that arranged
marriages
have a history of being successful as parents are the ones who know their children the best. However
, some believe that choosing their partner must be their own decision. This
essay will analyse both the viewpoints and my opinion in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, supporters of arranged marriages
. The first and foremost reason is that parents often have a good understanding of their child's personality and what they need due to
their life
experiences and wisdom which allows them to find a compatible life
partner for their child. Moreover
, marriage is a crucial step in an individual's life
as they have to spend their whole life
together, it is not a thing that a person can do without their parent's permission and without being socially aware of their social, cultural and economic status. Therefore
, their parents take all that into account to ensure the long-term success of the union. For instance
, it has been recorded that arranged marriages
often last
longer as they can be based on practical decisions rather than solely on emotions which tend to involve their family closely, fostering unity and support.
On the other hand
, proponents favouring love marriages
consider that choosing their partner can lead to increased compatibility as they know their preferences and desires best. Also
, it gives an individual with freedom to choose their life
companion with whom they want to spend life
. Additionally
, marrying their choice make can forter
deeper connections and personal satisfaction as they are often based on mutual understanding and affection. Correct your spelling
foster
However
, love marriages
may face lack
of support from their families if the families are not in agreement and Correct article usage
a lack
due to
neglectance
in practical consideration they may face problems in future. Correct your spelling
neglect
Hence
, I believe that marrying with your family choice is the best decision.
To conclude
, although
marriages
are often depend
on personal or cultural values Change the verb form
often depend
as
if a person values their family and culture Correct word choice
apply
that
Correct word choice
and
tend
to prefer Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
arrange
marriage, Wrong verb form
arranged
while
if an individual give
respect to their personal choice and emotional connection he Change the verb form
gives
give
preference to love marriage.Change the verb form
gives
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one point to the next. You may want to use more cohesive devices, like connecting words or phrases, to link your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
While the essay covers both arranged and love marriages, providing more relevant and specific examples could help strengthen the arguments. Consider drawing on statistics, studies, or anecdotes to illustrate your points.
task achievement
Revise the essay for grammatical precision and to ensure clarity, especially in sentences that are complex or convey multiple ideas. Simplifying these can make your arguments clearer and more impactful.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and sets up the essay topic nicely, preparing the reader for the discussion that follows.
complete response
You presented a balanced view by discussing both advantages of arranged marriages and love marriages, which aligns well with the task requirements.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively sums up the essay and reiterates the points made, providing a clear closing statement on the discussion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example