As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In contemporary society, solely profit-driven can not be considered as the only goal for many
companies
. I completely agree that
companies
have important social responsibilities to fulfil. From
enterprise's
Correct article usage
an enterprise's
show examples
standpoint, fulfilling social responsibilities enables them to develop sustainably. Nowadays, most customers have higher preferences in purchasing environment-friendly products
along with
the increase of awareness preserving living habitat, the earth. If
companies
only chase lower costs by producing chemical products detrimental to the environment, the customers
along with
shareholders will be devested by the deviation from their values.
For example
, some shareholders in the capital market will choose to buy those stocks promoting ESG values and sell those stocks whose
companies
still rely on unrenewable energy. From a macroeconomic perspective, the contribution
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
companies
to improve the welfare of misallocation issues among different communities is important to maintain social stability.
For example
, in China, some vulnerable groups,
such
as left-over children, and elderly people, in extreme poverty are hardly satisfied with basic needs,
such
as updated shelters, a basic medical system and educational resources, from limited financial support from the local government. It is very crucial for them to get extra financial support from other profitable
companies
, alleviating the financial burden of the government
as well as
shrinking social discrepancy
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
certain degree. In turn, the improvement of living standards would reduce crime in poverty areas, stabilizing society for enterprises to develop
further
. In conclusion, I completely agree that all entities should contribute not only to profit but
also
to social responsibility, which aligns with the ESG value for sustainable development but
also
brings them
further
benefits by tackling social discrepancy.
Submitted by erminelyu on

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Task Response
Strengthen your argument with more varied examples. While the examples provided are relevant, adding more diverse examples from different sectors or countries could enhance your argument's strength and applicability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on more complex sentence structures and transitions to improve fluidity between sentences and paragraphs. Using a wider range of transitional phrases could help your essay flow more naturally.
Task Response
Consider revisiting the prompt periodically throughout your essay to ensure your argument remains tightly focused on the question asked.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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