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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

more students study abroad to learn new things today do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages？ is it positive or negative？ agree or disagree to what extent do you agree or disagree？

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In
this
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 era of state-of-the-art art where
people
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 live in a global village owing to the advancement of technology
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,
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numerous
students
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 are going to overseas pursue their higher education. I agree that
this
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 is a positive
development
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 where advantages are surpassed by its disadvantages. A number of
students
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 are going abroad to achieve their higher degree.
Therefore
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, they are enable to learn different lessons which will help them in career
development
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 and
also
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 contribute future progress of the
country
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 in various sectors.
For instance
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, in Bangladesh,
people
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 who are working as teachers are trying to achieve their Doctor of Philosophy (PhD)for their professional purposes. Again, a significant amount of these
people
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 select the USA for their PhD and at the same time the USA offers a better scope in research areas.
However
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, when
people
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 return to their own
country
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 they serve their
country
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 by contributing to different research areas and teaching their
students
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. So they play a crucial role in teaching and research areas.
Moreover
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, many
students
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 want to go to
developed
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a developed
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country
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 from
development
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country
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 to learn the applications of cutting-edge technologies.
Furthermore
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, in that
country
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 , they have completed different vocational courses which help them in creating job sectors after return. To cite an example, numerous
students
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 in Bangladesh, go to China for different diploma courses which assist them as future entrepreneurs and contribute to the
country
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's
development
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 by establishing farmhouses.
To conclude
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,
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apply
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 abroad offers
students
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 to learn different new skills which help them in their personal progression and
also
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 give them an opportunity to their own countries, so its advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

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General
Work on improving the grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although the main ideas are clear, ensure that each paragraph develops only one main idea fully to improve coherence.
Task Achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support points, like the example of students going to the USA and China for educational purposes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effective in framing the discussion, making the argument clear.
Task Achievement
The overall essay maintains a clear position on the topic throughout.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Global mindset
  • Multicultural
  • Adaptability
  • Self-reliance
  • Language proficiency
  • Cross-cultural communication
  • Global job market
  • Personal growth
  • Independence
  • Financial burden
  • Homesickness
  • Academic structures
  • Acclimate
  • Career opportunities
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