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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #bowen #island #survey #visitors #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts provide information about the advantages and the disadvantages of Bowen Island
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 tourists.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 more than half of the survey participants were not satisfied with
its
Change the word
the
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 cost of living.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they were very happy
about
Change preposition
with
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people
Correct article usage
the people
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 who
live
Wrong verb form
lived
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in
Change preposition
on
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 the island. Focusing on the first picture, it can be seen that, after
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 cost of living, the other three main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 dissatisfaction were lack of entertainment(25%), poor weather(15%), and low food quality(10%). The proportion of people who were unhappy with entertainment was the same as the sum of the percentage of weather and that of food quality.
However
Linking Words
, 35% of
respondants
Correct your spelling
respondents
 thought that the place had
a
Remove the article
apply
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great scenery. Culture and good
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accommodations
 were
also
Linking Words
 included in the most common advantages of
this
Linking Words
 place, accounting for 12% and 11% respectively. But, we can still see that the
majorty
Correct your spelling
majority
 of visitors (77%) come to the island because of its residents and its scenery.
Submitted by dob.jeong on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scenic beauty
  • peaceful environment
  • wildlife viewing
  • limited accessibility
  • high costs
  • lack of amenities
  • tourist experience
  • perceived strongly
  • overwhelmingly stands out
  • main features
  • key advantages
  • primary disadvantages
  • notable aspects
  • common perceptions
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