IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Most
people
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 tend to live in other countries where they cannot use their mother tongue, so they must learn a foreign
language
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. Some
people
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 may perceive
this
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 as a beneficial opportunity to create a cross-cultural understanding by learning a new
language
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.
However
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, I believe using a foreign
language
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 that we are not familiar with can lead to a bad situation because
people
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 might comprehend it differently. Talking in a new
language
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, particularly for daily use, is never been easy. It can create miscommunication with other
people
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 and would be hard to befriend new
people
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 because they will avoid the conversation if they do not understand it.
For example
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, in daily activities
such
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 as buying food when they ask for some items to be bought, the seller will hardly understand what they want.
Therefore
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, the sellers often get angry easily because they need to spend a longer time serving the customers, which can cause a commotion in the line.
Furthermore
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, it can cause a severe condition where they are being accused of bad behaviours or crimes by other
people
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 accidentally. They will have a hard time explaining their reasonings properly.
For instance
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, there was news in the US about a Mexican driver who was not fluent in English
that
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and
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 got arrested for false accusations.
Thus
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, he struggled a lot in defending himself because the police were confused about the problems that he had. To summarize, speaking foreign languages to settle in other countries where they are not really familiar with the
language
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 can cause several problems in their daily lives,
such
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 as miscommunication with other
people
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 or can make them get into trouble,
although
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 they do not commit it.

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language
Work on refining sentence structures to enhance clarity and avoid confusion.
task response
Consider exploring counterarguments to show a balanced view of the topic, which could enhance your critical thinking in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to use transition words and phrases consistently to further improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear background of the topic and the writer's stance, engaging the reader effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task fully, offering specific and relevant examples to illustrate the main points.
supported main points
Good use of examples such as the Mexican driver in the US adds depth to the argument and supports the main points well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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