Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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In recent years, many
people
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have argued that extreme
sports
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should be prohibited
due to
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the high possibility of accidents. I completely disagree with the idea that extreme
sports
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are too dangerous,
therefore
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I believe that they should not be banned. In my perspective, extreme
sports
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are not as dangerous as many
people
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think. Specifically, all extreme
sports
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have to satisfy strict regulations and
safety
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procedures to minimize the chance of accidents.
People
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who enjoy extreme
sports
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have to undergo appropriate training and meet sufficient approvals.
For instance
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, anyone who wants to try skydiving has to register for lessons with the approval club, and beginners are not allowed to dive solo, they must be experienced professionals to support.
Additionally
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, the protective equipment and technology in F1 racing are constantly improving
safety
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.
While
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I support the regulations and
safety
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measurements, I believe that it would be wrong, and impossible, to ban extreme
sports
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. In the first place, we should all be free to choose what kind of sport we can enjoy in our leisure time, and governments should not restrict us from enjoying what we like. It is quite hilarious to imagine the circumstances when police are being called because
people
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decide to go skydiving.
In other words
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, deciding to play extreme
sports
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is far away from the reach of any authorities. In conclusion, I believe that
people
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should be free to experience extreme
sports
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as long as they acknowledge the risks and take the appropriate
safety
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procedures in order to minimize unpredictable accidents.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating a bit more on the benefits of extreme sports, such as the thrill and physical exertion that attract participants.
coherence cohesion
Improve the linkage between ideas with more varied transitional phrases to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position with relevant arguments and examples to support the viewpoint that extreme sports should not be banned.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear stance and summarizing the main points effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adrenaline rush
  • risk threshold
  • thrill-seeking
  • safety protocols
  • hazard assessment
  • adventure tourism
  • regulatory framework
  • personal autonomy
  • informed consent
  • risk mitigation strategies
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • protective gear
  • extreme athleticism
  • freedom of choice
  • accident prevalence
  • emergency response
  • courage and resilience
  • endorphin release
  • legal implications
  • peer pressure effects
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