Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
In recent years, many
people
have argued that extreme sports
should be prohibited due to
the high possibility of accidents. I completely disagree with the idea that extreme sports
are too dangerous, therefore
I believe that they should not be banned.
In my perspective, extreme sports
are not as dangerous as many people
think. Specifically, all extreme sports
have to satisfy strict regulations and safety
procedures to minimize the chance of accidents. People
who enjoy extreme sports
have to undergo appropriate training and meet sufficient approvals. For instance
, anyone who wants to try skydiving has to register for lessons with the approval club, and beginners are not allowed to dive solo, they must be experienced professionals to support. Additionally
, the protective equipment and technology in F1 racing are constantly improving safety
.
While
I support the regulations and safety
measurements, I believe that it would be wrong, and impossible, to ban extreme sports
. In the first place, we should all be free to choose what kind of sport we can enjoy in our leisure time, and governments should not restrict us from enjoying what we like. It is quite hilarious to imagine the circumstances when police are being called because people
decide to go skydiving. In other words
, deciding to play extreme sports
is far away from the reach of any authorities.
In conclusion, I believe that people
should be free to experience extreme sports
as long as they acknowledge the risks and take the appropriate safety
procedures in order to minimize unpredictable accidents.Submitted by nguyenhung1705mmt on
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task achievement
Consider elaborating a bit more on the benefits of extreme sports, such as the thrill and physical exertion that attract participants.
coherence cohesion
Improve the linkage between ideas with more varied transitional phrases to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position with relevant arguments and examples to support the viewpoint that extreme sports should not be banned.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear stance and summarizing the main points effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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