Some people believe that technological advancement leads to a decrease in the quality of personal relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Discuss your views and provide relevant examples.

#people #advancement #decrease #quality #relationships

In contemporary society, the pervasive influence of

technology

on interpersonal

relationships

has become a controversial issue.

While

some argue that technological advancements detract from the quality of personal connections, I contend that these innovations can enhance

relationships

if utilised judiciously.

Firstly

technology

facilitates communication across vast distances, allowing

individuals

to maintain

relationships

that

otherwise

dwindle.

For instance

, video conferencing tools enable families and friends separated from geography to engage in real-time conversations, fostering a sense of closeness despite physical separation. These digital interactions bridge physical distances, mitigating feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Furthermore

technology

offers opportunities for shared experiences that can enhance relational bonds. Online gaming, virtual book clubs and collaborative platforms allow people to engage in activities together, creating memories and cultivating camaraderie in ways that traditional methods may not accommodate.

Additionally

, the wide variety of virtual spaces caters to diverse interests, ensuring that

individuals

can find communities that resonate with their personal passions and hobbies.

Conversely

, critics assert that reliance on

technology

can lead to superficial interactions. The prevalence of social media platforms has led to a culture of curated personas, where

individuals

often prioritise online appearances over genuine connections.

While

this

observation holds merit, it is crucial to recognise that the responsibility lies not with

technology

itself but with its users. If

individuals

choose to engage meaningfully,

technology

can serve as a tool to deepen

relationships

rather than diminish them. In Conclusion,

although

there are valid concerns regarding the impact of

technology

on personal

relationships

, I firmly believe that it can enhance rather than undermine them. By using

technology

mindfully,

individuals

can nurture their connections and create lasting, meaningful

relationships

in an increasingly digital world.

Thus

, it is imperative to focus on how we use these tools rather than lamenting their existence.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sun Nov 10 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, but aim to expand more on the counterargument for a more balanced discussion.

task achievement

Make your stance even clearer in each main body paragraph. While it's evident, emphasizing it at the start of each paragraph can make your argument more compelling.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear, well-rounded view on the topic and addresses both sides of the argument effectively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are strong and effectively frame the essay's main argument.

support chain

Relevant and specific examples, such as video conferencing tools and online gaming, are well-integrated into the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that technological advancement leads to a decrease in the quality of personal relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Discuss your views and provide relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people like to eat in restaurants and at foodstands, others like to eat at home. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and examples to support your choice.

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. what do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it?