Some people believe that technological advancement leads to a decrease in the quality of personal relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Discuss your views and provide relevant examples.

In contemporary society, the pervasive influence of
technology
on interpersonal
relationships
has become a controversial issue.
While
some argue that technological advancements detract from the quality of personal connections, I contend that these innovations can enhance
relationships
if utilised judiciously.
Firstly
,
technology
facilitates communication across vast distances, allowing
individuals
to maintain
relationships
that
otherwise
dwindle.
For instance
, video conferencing tools enable families and friends separated from geography to engage in real-time conversations, fostering a sense of closeness despite physical separation. These digital interactions bridge physical distances, mitigating feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Furthermore
,
technology
offers opportunities for shared experiences that can enhance relational bonds. Online gaming, virtual book clubs and collaborative platforms allow people to engage in activities together, creating memories and cultivating camaraderie in ways that traditional methods may not accommodate.
Additionally
, the wide variety of virtual spaces caters to diverse interests, ensuring that
individuals
can find communities that resonate with their personal passions and hobbies.
Conversely
, critics assert that reliance on
technology
can lead to superficial interactions. The prevalence of social media platforms has led to a culture of curated personas, where
individuals
often prioritise online appearances over genuine connections.
While
this
observation holds merit, it is crucial to recognise that the responsibility lies not with
technology
itself but with its users. If
individuals
choose to engage meaningfully,
technology
can serve as a tool to deepen
relationships
rather than diminish them. In Conclusion,
although
there are valid concerns regarding the impact of
technology
on personal
relationships
, I firmly believe that it can enhance rather than undermine them. By using
technology
mindfully,
individuals
can nurture their connections and create lasting, meaningful
relationships
in an increasingly digital world.
Thus
, it is imperative to focus on how we use these tools rather than lamenting their existence.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, but aim to expand more on the counterargument for a more balanced discussion.
task achievement
Make your stance even clearer in each main body paragraph. While it's evident, emphasizing it at the start of each paragraph can make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear, well-rounded view on the topic and addresses both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong and effectively frame the essay's main argument.
support chain
Relevant and specific examples, such as video conferencing tools and online gaming, are well-integrated into the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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