Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the contemporary world,
ceratain
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certain
groups of
people
Use synonyms
are of the opinion that
the
Correct article usage
a
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university degree is required to get a successful career
while
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
believe that it is an old practice. Personally, I believe that former
education
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plays a critical role, In
this
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essay I will discuss both views and support my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
. On the one hand.Many youngsters do not like to continue their
education
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because of the following reasons.
Firsty
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Firstly
First
,
couple
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a couple
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of individuals drop out
from
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of
show examples
their colleges or schools, to give
helping
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a helping
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hand to their
family
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families
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.
For example
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, sometimes
few
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a few
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families are going through
a bad times
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bad times
a bad time
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and
juenile
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juvenile
takes responsibility
to support
Change preposition
for supporting
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their family financially and
moraly
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morally
. They have to
made
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make
show examples
a few
secrifices
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sacrifices
like
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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to make
thing
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things
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work out for them.
Secondly
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, some
people
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are blessed and
privilaged
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privileged
, they have to
dropout
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drop out
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from
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of
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their
education
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to learn
the
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about the
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family business. These
people
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generally have a financially satisfied
lifes
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life
lives
but not mentally happy.
On the other hand
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, I have widely witnessed that individuals who
goes
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go
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to
the
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apply
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university
is
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are
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relatively mature and sensible.
For example
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,
the
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apply
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university students come across millions of
people
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from all around the world from everyone they learn unique quality and life skills.
Moreover
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, after gaining
professional
Add an article
a professional
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degree, they can make their dream come true.
Additionally
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,
people
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will feel incredible for leaving
to
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apply
show examples
their work . Those couple of years spent
at
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in
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the
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apply
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educations
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education
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had
a
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apply
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wonderful memories which will
stays
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stay
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with us forever.
To conclude
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, there are
few
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a few
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benefits of leaving their
education
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and
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
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family and their businesses.
However
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, In my opinion, time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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on
studing
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studying
and working on their goals have more
privilages
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privileges
.
Submitted by lovjotsandhu1 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on one main point only.
Task Achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points and analyze them accordingly.
Task Achievement
Ensure clarity and coherence in your expressions to improve the overall comprehensiveness of your ideas.
Task Achievement
You included both perspectives on the issue, which fulfills the basic requirement of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which frame your discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
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