Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
The
issues
of Fix the agreement mistake
issue
children
making decisions
on personal matters has garnered significant attention in recent years. While
some argue that permitting children
to make their own choices on everyday matters can cause to
create a Verb problem
apply
society
of ambitious people
who only think about themselves, others believe that it is very important to consider children
's opinions on issues
that affect them. This
essay will discuss both views and the writer explains his own idea.
To commence with the first idea, considering that some people
think that if they allow children
to make decisions
about their personal issues
, it will lead to the formation of a society
of people
who only think about their dreams, although
if they are not allowed to make decisions
about their personal issues
, it will lead to the formation of A society
of bored, nervous and depressed people
. For example
, consider the country of North Korea, where people
are not allowed to try on their favorite
clothes, do whatever their government tells them to do, often are not allowed to own cars, and everyone has to go into long-term military service. Change the spelling
favourite
As a result
of all these mentioned cases, it creates a depressed society
with many mental and psychological problems.
On the flip side, some people
believe that children
's opinions should be taken into account when making decisions
about their personal issues
that affect their present and future lives because this
will create a society
of happy and energetic people
in the future. For example
, if we consider the countries of Europe and North America, I see that by giving people
the right to choose in their personal matters, the governments formed a society
of creative, intelligent and motivated people
.
To conclude
, allowing children
to make their own decisions
about their personal and daily issues
not only creates a society
of people
who only think about their wishes,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
creates a creative and useful society
.Submitted by amirghhhhhh1999 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Consider using transition words and clear topic sentences to guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed throughout the essay to provide a comprehensive response to the task.
Introduction
The introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument, setting up the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay covers relevant examples such as countries like North Korea and places in Europe and North America to illustrate key points.
Conclusion
There is a well-defined conclusion that summarizes the discussion and states the writer's stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.