Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

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The
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issues
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issue
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of
children
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making
decisions
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on personal matters has garnered significant attention in recent years.
While
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some argue that permitting
children
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to make their own choices on everyday matters can
cause to
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apply
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create a
society
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of ambitious
people
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who only think about themselves, others believe that it is very important to consider
children
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's opinions on
issues
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that affect them.
This
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essay will discuss both views and the writer explains his own idea. To commence with the first idea, considering that some
people
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think that if they allow
children
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to make
decisions
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about their personal
issues
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, it will lead to the formation of a
society
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of
people
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who only think about their dreams,
although
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if they are not allowed to make
decisions
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about their personal
issues
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, it will lead to the formation of A
society
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of bored, nervous and depressed
people
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.
For example
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, consider the country of North Korea, where
people
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are not allowed to try on their
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clothes, do whatever their government tells them to do, often are not allowed to own cars, and everyone has to go into long-term military service.
As a result
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of all these mentioned cases, it creates a depressed
society
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with many mental and psychological problems. On the flip side, some
people
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believe that
children
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's opinions should be taken into account when making
decisions
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about their personal
issues
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that affect their present and future lives because
this
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will create a
society
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of happy and energetic
people
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in the future.
For example
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, if we consider the countries of Europe and North America, I see that by giving
people
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the right to choose in their personal matters, the governments formed a
society
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of creative, intelligent and motivated
people
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.
To conclude
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, allowing
children
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to make their own
decisions
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about their personal and daily
issues
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not only creates a
society
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of
people
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who only think about their wishes
,
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but
also
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creates a creative and useful
society
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Consider using transition words and clear topic sentences to guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed throughout the essay to provide a comprehensive response to the task.
Introduction
The introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument, setting up the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay covers relevant examples such as countries like North Korea and places in Europe and North America to illustrate key points.
Conclusion
There is a well-defined conclusion that summarizes the discussion and states the writer's stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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