You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Some
people
believe that the most effective way to improve
road
safety
is
increasing
Change preposition
by increasing
show examples
the minimum legal
age
for driving cars or motorbikes. I completely disagree with
this
viewpoint because
road
accidents
and violation of traffic rules do not depend on a person's
age
and there are other reasons for
accidents
such
as overspeeding and drinking and driving.
Road
accidents
do not depend on the
age
of a person. The actual
cause
of
road
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
is becoming reckless or violating traffic rules on the
road
and someone can
cause
that at any
age
. No matter what their
ages
are and whether they are young or adults. There are several
evidence
Correct quantifier usage
pieces of evidence
show examples
available about adult
people
violating traffic regulations and becoming reckless on the
road
which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
in
accidents
.
For example
, in Australia, adult
people
at
Change preposition
between
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
ages
of
30s
Change the article
the 30s
show examples
and 40s become
reskless
Correct your spelling
reckless
restless
on the
road
and
cause
accidents
.
Moreover
, there are other reasons which restrict
road
safety
such
as overspeeding and drinking and driving. Human beings are adventurous by nature and they want to have the taste of breaking the rules and laws.
Age
is not a factor here. Both
over speeding
Correct your spelling
overspeeding
show examples
and drinking and driving are caused by careless
people
regardless of their
ages
.
Therefore
, to ensure
road
safety
, these causes should be addressed properly.
For example
, in Delhi, India, around 58% of
road
accidents
are caused by drinking and driving. In conclusion, I completely agree with the viewpoint that
,
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apply
show examples
age
is not a
cause
of
road
accidents
. To ensure
road
safety
, increasing the
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
of
people
to get a driver's license is not a solution rather addressing the actual causes of
accidents
will be a solution.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Try to strengthen your argument by further diversifying the examples used to support your points. This will provide a more comprehensive coverage of the reasons contributing to road accidents.
task achievement
Make sure to avoid minor grammatical errors such as the omission of articles and slight misuse of tenses to ensure clarity and precision in writing.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is quite cohesive, consider using linking words like 'furthermore' or 'additionally' to enhance the flow between the main points.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets the tone by stating your disagreement with the proposed solution clearly and succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Very strong conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your argument against increasing the minimum driving age.
task achievement
You use specific examples effectively, such as those from Australia and India, to support your main points, illustrating real-world application of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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