IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

With the last century witnessing significant technological advancements, some argue that these developments come with negative repercussions for our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the
last
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 hundred years,
technology
Use synonyms
 has developed rapidly and changed many aspects of our daily lives.
While
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 some people believe these changes have caused more harm than good, I partly agree with
this
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 statement.
Although
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technology
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 has brought many benefits, there are
also
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 several negative effects that cannot be ignored. On the one hand, technological progress has made life more convenient and efficient.
For example
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, communication has become faster and easier through mobile phones and the internet. People can now work remotely, attend online classes, and connect with others from different parts of the world.
In addition
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, machines and computers have improved productivity in industries and healthcare, saving time and even lives in some cases.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 downsides to
this
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 development. One major problem is the impact of
technology
Use synonyms
 on social relationships. Many people now spend more time on their phones or computers rather than talking to family or friends in person.
This
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 can lead to loneliness and a lack of real social interaction. Another issue is that many traditional jobs are being replaced by machines, causing unemployment and financial problems for some individuals.
Furthermore
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, the overuse of
technology
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 has led to health problems
such
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 as eye strain, lack of physical activity, and even mental health issues like anxiety or depression. The environment
also
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 suffers, as technological production often involves pollution and the use of non-renewable resources. In conclusion, I believe that
technology
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 has brought both positive and negative effects.
While
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 it has made our lives easier in many ways, it has
also
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 created new problems that we must carefully manage.
Therefore
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, I partly agree with the view that the results of technological advancements are not always positive.

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific technologies and their effects on society.
coherence
Use more linking words like 'however', 'furthermore', and 'in addition' to improve flow.
coherence
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that presents your view well.
coherence
You have logically structured your ideas, presenting both positive and negative aspects of technology.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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