IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today’s society is based on laws and rules. It can’t function well if individuals are free to do whatever they want. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#today’s #society #laws #rules #can’t #function #individuals
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It is undeniable that a world is nothing without having proper control of the resources of Earth and it can not function well if people become free to do whatever they want. I fully agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion which I will explain in
further
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 paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, benefits of having rules in society.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it helps in providing structure and order in the society. Without them, there could be chaos as individuals pursue conflicting interests and try to do activities which are not suitable for people living around them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the presence of laws ensures public safety and restricts people from engaging in harmful behaviour.
Furthermore
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, its rules protect individual rights and
freedom
Use synonyms
 by setting boundaries on what is acceptable behaviour.
For example
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, in many countries, laws reflect societal values and ethical standards, helping to promote moral conduct.
On the other hand
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, putting too many restrictions can become a hindrance to their
freedom
Use synonyms
 and stifle creativity and innovation as when they have no
freedom
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 to do whatever type of thing they want to do and only have to work
according to
Linking Words
 the Government's standards
then
Linking Words
 it significantly impacts their creativity level which will slowly die from them.
To conclude
Linking Words
, having anything in excess is detrimental whether it's
freedom
Use synonyms
 or restrictions.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is necessary to create a balance between enforcing laws to maintain order and allowing personal
freedom
Use synonyms
 to encourage social progress.
Submitted by k7jassu on

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relevant specific examples
Expand on specific examples to strengthen arguments. Illustrate with scenarios or statistics where the lack of laws has led to disorder.
complete response
Balance the argument further by providing examples of positive creativity arising from minimal restrictions.
logical structure
Consider linking paragraphs with more transitional phrases to enhance coherence, such as 'Similarly,' or 'Conversely,', to improve the flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, establishing a strong structure.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay showcases clear and comprehensive ideas, effectively explaining the necessity of laws and potential downsides of excessive freedom.
supported main points
Good use of language to describe how laws provide structure and protect rights.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • legal framework
  • public order
  • societal harmony
  • enforce laws
  • deterrence mechanism
  • social contract
  • bounded by regulations
  • personal freedom
  • ethical standards
  • societal values
  • moral conduct
  • civil liberties
  • restrict individual freedom
  • law enforcement
  • jurisprudence
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