IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that older employees bring more value to a company. Others believe that younger employees are more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You must

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Some argue that older
employees
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 can help
and
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apply
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develop the
company
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,
others
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while others
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 think that younger individuals will have more value and benefit. For me, I think both views
also
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 play a crucial role in the
company
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the benefits of older and younger people that they bring to their
company
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 and give some examples. In terms of older
employees
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, there is a wide range of values that they bring to the
company
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 because they have extensive experience and specialized expertise. Older
employees
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who
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apply
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often have many years of experience and deep knowledge in their fields, allowing them to handle complex situations effectively.
For example
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,
industries
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in industries
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 like engineering, healthcare, or law, experience and accurate decision-making are critical, as mistakes can have serious consequences. Not only have many experiences but they
also
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 possess stability and high reliability that owners can trust to do. Actually, older individuals tend to stay with a
company
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 longer, reducing turnover rates and creating a stable
work
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 environment.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 stability helps companies maintain operational efficiency and ensures continuity in
work
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 processes.
On the other hand
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, the benefits that young
employees
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 create are
also
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 very important and contribute to the development of the
company
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. Young people are known to be creative, dynamic and full of positive energy. They often bring fresh, creative ideas that help the
company
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 grow and adapt to change.
For instance
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, in fields like marketing and technology, younger
employees
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 often develop innovative campaigns and stay updated with trends, which helps attract customers.
Additionally
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, flexibility and adaptability are among their great advantages. Younger individuals are quick learners who can easily adapt to
the
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apply
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changing
work
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 environments and technologies.
This
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 flexibility is essential in a rapidly changing market where technology evolves quickly. In conclusion, both age groups have their own strengths,
therefore
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, companies should have a workforce that includes both to fully utilize the benefits of each group. I firmly believe that a balanced workforce of older and younger
employees
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 creates a dynamic and sustainable
work
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 environment, helping the
company
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 grow and succeed in a competitive environment.

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task response
Your introduction effectively outlines both viewpoints and sets up the essay's structure. However, consider condensing some ideas for clarity early on to directly state your position and planning to discuss pros and cons briefly.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically sequenced. Transitions between the discussion of older and younger employees can be smoother to enhance coherence.
task response
Support your ideas with more specific examples or evidence to make your arguments more compelling. Although good examples were mentioned, further detailed supports can strengthen your task achievement.
task response
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence
The conclusion is strong and reinforces your opinion effectively, summarizing the benefits of having both older and younger employees.
coherence
You have used appropriate paragraphing to organize different arguments, which enhances readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • mentorship
  • adaptability
  • innovation
  • established networks
  • contemporary trends
  • digital marketing
  • job loyalty
  • work ethic
  • flexibility
  • workforce stability
  • competitive advantage
  • professional growth
  • diversity of thought
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