Many people nowadays don't feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reasons? What can we do to solve this problem?

#people #home

It has become increasingly prevalent for

people

to feel uncomfortable whenever they are at home or go out. In

this

essay, I will discuss some reasons why

people

think that, and give some possible solutions to tackle

this

issue. There are some main reasons why

people

suppose that going out can make them feel unsafe. First of all, evil society often exists everywhere and is

evitable

Correct your spelling

inevitable

show examples

as well. Pickpockets are a prime example of

this

situation. If

people

wear

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

which

are

Change the verb form

show examples

exorbitant

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or use modern cellular phones, they will be in the sights of pickpockets.

Additionally

, robbers

also

are able to use

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

weapons

such

as knives,

hammers

Correct word choice

and hammers

show examples

threat

Replace the word

threaten

show examples

people

if they fight against robbers. The second reason is car accidents which

occurs

Change the verb form

occur

show examples

daily.

People

who are young

adulthoods

Replace the word

adults

show examples

tending

Wrong verb form

tend

show examples

to express themselves to their friends.

Therefore

, they can cause car accidents and these can lead to death for

people

who are innocent.

However

, there are various steps that

people

and governments could take to solve these problems.

To begin

with, creating

vacancy

Replace the word

vacant

show examples

jobs is very necessary for unemployed

people

. If they have their jobs, they can pay for the necessities of their life

instead

of getting involved in social evils like robbery and pickpocketing.

As a result

people

feel safer whenever they go out.

Besides

governers

Correct your spelling

governors

show examples

should enact laws taxing and fining heavily on traffic violations. Through

which

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

people

can be aware of their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

, and traffic accidents will be

minimizing

Wrong verb form

minimised

show examples

significantly. In conclusion, social evils

such

as robbery and pickpocketing are two main reasons making

people

feel unsafe when they want to go out.

Nevertheless

, improving job opportunities for

people

, and taxing heavily on traffic violations

also

help to decrease

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unfortunate situations.

Submitted by Hungmap on Thu Aug 15 2024

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introduction conclusion present

You have included an introduction and conclusion, framing your essay effectively.

complete response

You have made an effort to identify both reasons for the problem and potential solutions, indicating a comprehensive response to the prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people nowadays don't feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reasons? What can we do to solve this problem?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think that this is an appropriate use of government money?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reason? Do the advantages outweigh the disavantages

Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university eduation benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?