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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

"Some people believe that online education provides significant benefits, while others think it leads to a loss of important social interactions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #loss #interactions
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In recent years, online
education
 has gained popularity as a flexible alternative to traditional
classroom
 learning.
While
 it offers the benefit of accessibility and convenience, some argue it results in a lack of social interaction, which is crucial for personal development.
This
 essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of online
education
 before providing a personal opinion. One significant advantage of online
education
 is its accessibility. Online courses can be attended from anywhere with an internet connection, which greatly benefits those who live in remote areas or have busy schedules.
For example
, a student in a rural village with limited access to quality
education
 can
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in courses from top universities around the world without having to relocate.
This
 convenience can lead to greater educational opportunities for a diverse range of people and reduce the costs associated with commuting or relocating.
Additionally
, online
education
 often allows for a more personalized learning experience. Many platforms offer recorded lectures and resources that students can revisit at their own pace, which is especially helpful for those who need extra time to understand certain concepts.
This
 flexibility is something that traditional
classroom
 settings often lack.
On the other hand
, online
education
 has notable disadvantages, particularly the loss of face-to-face social interaction. In a traditional
classroom
, students learn valuable social skills by interacting with peers and instructors, participating in group projects, and engaging in
classroom
 discussions.
For instance
, activities like group discussions or presentations allow students to build communication and teamwork skills, which are essential in the workplace. Without these interactions, online learners may struggle to develop these skills, which could hinder their professional and personal growth.
Furthermore
, the lack of physical presence can lead to feelings of isolation. Studies have shown that many online learners report feeling disconnected from their peers and teachers, which can impact motivation and mental well-being.
This
 social aspect of learning is something that virtual classrooms cannot fully replicate. In conclusion, online
education
 offers clear advantages,
such
 as accessibility and flexibility, which can greatly benefit those in need of alternative learning options.
However
, it
also
 has drawbacks, especially in terms of reduced social interaction and skill development. Personally, I believe that
while
 online
education
 is beneficial, it should ideally be combined with occasional in-person interactions to create a more balanced and fulfilling learning experience.
Submitted by nazmulrafi023 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure more seamless transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate more varied sentence structures for increased sophistication.
task achievement
Consider providing additional details or examples to substantiate the arguments for each view further.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction and ends with a strong conclusion that restates the main points and offers a personal stance.
task achievement
Main points are adequately developed and supported by relevant examples, demonstrating a good understanding of both perspectives on online education.
task achievement
The language used is clear and easy to understand, with a good command of vocabulary related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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