In some high schools, part of the curriculum requires students to participate in community work such as helping the elderly or disabled. In what way do children benefit from this? Do you think it should be part of the curriculum?

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In some high schools,
students
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participate in
community
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work
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such
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as helping elderly and
disable
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disabled
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people as a
part
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of their
curriculum
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. It teaches
students
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to become kind-hearted and empathetic towards
others
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. I personally believe that
this
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should be a
part
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of their
curriculum
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because they learn to become
a
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apply
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good human
being
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beings
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.
Students
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learn to become kind-hearted and empathetic if they participate in
community
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work
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as a
part
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of their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
. If
students
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become kind-hearted and empathetic they will experience and understand the sufferings of
others
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and will try to help them. These
students
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learn the importance of helping
others
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.
For example
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, in India, all high school
students
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study a course named "
Community
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and Human Services" which allows them to experience and understand the struggles and sufferings of
others
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and they become empathetic and kind-hearted. I think that participating in
community
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work
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should be a
part
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of the school
curriculum
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because it will help them to become good human beings. The primary goal of an education system is not only
preparing
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to prepare
show examples
students
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for employment but
also
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help them to become good human beings. If
students
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become educated but they do not show empathy and kindness towards
others
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, their education does not have any value.
For example
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, in Bangladesh, many schools prioritize teaching human attributes over other academic knowledge to
students
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because they believe that it will help to make them good human beings. In conclusion, participating in
community
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work
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helps
students
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to become kind-hearted and empathetic. I personally believe that
this
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should be added to the school
curriculum
Use synonyms
because it will help them to become good humans.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to solidify your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, possibly with the use of linking words.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the arguments effectively.
task achievement
Relevant examples were used, such as the programs in India and Bangladesh, which added value to the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • empathy
  • emotional intelligence
  • social skills
  • team collaboration
  • real-world experience
  • civic responsibility
  • self-esteem
  • hands-on learning
  • career exploration
  • skill development
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