Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, smartphones are so popular.
Also
, this
affected to
Change preposition
apply
children
’s habits. Most of
Change preposition
apply
children
use smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
everyday
. They spend Replace the word
every day
many
Correct word choice
apply
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
for
surfing Change preposition
apply
on
the internet. I think Change preposition
apply
this
development is completely harmfull
and Correct your spelling
harmful
influence
people, and Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
specially
Replace the word
especially
kids
.
First and foremost, children
would earn
Verb problem
become
addiction
easily, because, Their brain genetics haven’t Replace the word
addicted
strong
Change the word
strongly
defend
Wrong verb form
defended
mechanizm
. One experiment shows;Correct your spelling
mechanism
1
million Correct word choice
that 1
child
live Change to a plural noun
children
in
the earth, and half Change preposition
on
million
Correct article usage
a million
children
play games on the
phones for 6 hours per Change the word
their
a
day. They Correct article usage
apply
nor
just play for Verb problem
do not
long
time but Change the article
a long
also
, when parents take their phones, they scream, cry, and shock to
their parents.
Change preposition
apply
However
, children
believe to
every Change preposition
in
informations
on the internet, because, Their ages are not enough Change the wording
information
pieces of information
for
argue Change preposition
to
to
new Change preposition
with
knowladge
. BBC Correct your spelling
knowledge
press
published a newspaper Capitalize word
Press
last
week. The title was pollution
of Capitalize word
Pollution
informationm
. One internet user shared Correct your spelling
information
to
fake news and that Change preposition
apply
was
affected Unnecessary verb
apply
to
Change preposition
apply
kids
. The new
was about “Correct your spelling
news
children
mafia rise up in Kadıköy”. This
fake news influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
to
many Change preposition
apply
children
, and they couldn’t
go outside for a long time because Wrong verb form
can’t
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
are
haven’t let them.
Unnecessary verb
apply
On the other hand
, kids
don’t go outside, and their social skills are very week
. Correct your spelling
weak
New
generation’s Correct article usage
The new
kids
can’t explain their emotions,
and opinions. That Remove the comma
apply
has
a simple reason. When they use Verb problem
is
phone
, the telephone Add an article
the phone
a phone
make
them lazy day by day. The professors say “Change the verb form
makes
children’s
social activities are so important for their growing process, and smartphones are Capitalize word
Children’s
build
a border between their life skills.
Wrong verb form
building
Finally
, ı have many
experience Correct word choice
apply
about
Smartphones. I have a little sister. Change preposition
with
Also
, she always plays online mobil
games. She is so shy child because of phones. She Correct your spelling
mobile
has
some friends before. When we bought a smartphone for her, she Wrong verb form
had
is
be antisocial person.Wrong verb form
was
Submitted by turkogluahmetonur on
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task achievement
Work on building a strong argument or explanation. Some sections are unclear due to phrasing or complexity.
task achievement
Proofread your work for grammar and spelling errors. This could enhance clarity and portrayal of your knowledge.
coherence cohesion
You have introduced the topic and provided a conclusion, which demonstrates good structure.
task achievement
You provided personal experience to support your arguments, which makes the essay engaging.
task achievement
You clearly addressed the prompt question and presented your viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.