Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, many
children
are highly interested
to spend
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in spending
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their time using mobile phones because they are more interested towards technology. I believe that
this
development is positive
while
the excessive
use
of it is fatal for
health
Add an article
the health
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of every person particularly growing kids. Technology, particularly the
use
of smartphones, has become very common among
children
. First of all, in schools now, technological-based studies are more likely to be taught rather than using conventional methods, only. To exemplify it, in Bangkok's elite school,
children
are permitted to
use
technological gadgets
on
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at
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vast
Correct article usage
a vast
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pace, where they learn artificial intelligence tools, which excessively increase their demand and interest towards it.
Secondly
,
children
usually watch multiple online applications
such
as YouTube for videos, which
also
develops interest in it by exploring various contents.
While the
Correct word choice
The
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use
of cell phones is quite positive regarding communication purposes,
for
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apply
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watching any useful
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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,
such
as
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apply
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related to arts, learning materials, and fun purposes.
However
, it negatively
impact
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impacts
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on
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apply
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the
health
of young minds because they develop their mindset
according to
the content, which they usually watch and follow.
Moreover
, it
also
affects mental and physical
health
because after using
such
technological devices, they are unlikely to take part in any physical games.
For instance
,
children
from India are highly affected
due to
maximum screen time.
As a result
, they become depressed
due to
insufficient healthy activity, and lack of communication with others. In conclusion,
although
smartphone development has useful purposes, I believe that it
also
impacts the physical and mental
health
of a child that
exacerbates
Wrong verb form
exacerbated
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in the future.
Submitted by rooha.javed on

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Clarify ideas to make them more comprehensive, focusing on how each point leads to your conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and succinctly outline the writer's position.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to both parts of the question, discussing why children spend time on phones and the impacts of this.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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