Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, many
children
are highly interested to spend
their time using mobile phones because they are more interested towards technology. I believe that Change preposition
in spending
this
development is positive while
the excessive use
of it is fatal for health
of every person particularly growing kids.
Technology, particularly the Add an article
the health
use
of smartphones, has become very common among children
. First of all, in schools now, technological-based studies are more likely to be taught rather than using conventional methods, only. To exemplify it, in Bangkok's elite school, children
are permitted to use
technological gadgets on
Change preposition
at
vast
pace, where they learn artificial intelligence tools, which excessively increase their demand and interest towards it. Correct article usage
a vast
Secondly
, children
usually watch multiple online applications such
as YouTube for videos, which also
develops interest in it by exploring various contents.
While the
Correct word choice
The
use
of cell phones is quite positive regarding communication purposes, for
watching any useful Change preposition
apply
contents
, Fix the agreement mistake
content
such
as
related to arts, learning materials, and fun purposes. Change preposition
apply
However
, it negatively impact
Change the verb form
impacts
on
the Change preposition
apply
health
of young minds because they develop their mindset according to
the content, which they usually watch and follow. Moreover
, it also
affects mental and physical health
because after using such
technological devices, they are unlikely to take part in any physical games. For instance
, children
from India are highly affected due to
maximum screen time. As a result
, they become depressed due to
insufficient healthy activity, and lack of communication with others.
In conclusion, although
smartphone development has useful purposes, I believe that it also
impacts the physical and mental health
of a child that exacerbates
in the future.Wrong verb form
exacerbated
Submitted by rooha.javed on
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Clarify ideas to make them more comprehensive, focusing on how each point leads to your conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and succinctly outline the writer's position.
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The essay provides a complete response to both parts of the question, discussing why children spend time on phones and the impacts of this.