Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in building specialised
facilities
to bring up prominent athletes, leading to international sports
. Some may laud its benefits, while
, in this
essay, I intend to argue that the disadvantageous of this
far outweigh its benefits. The reasons for this
are as follows.
First of all, it is an irrefutable fact that reaching international sports
would bring the country fame and honour. Winning the highest number of golden medals by American athletes in the 2021 Olympics, ranked this
nation as the most successful sporting country. Although
these achievements demand tremendous investments in constructing stadiums, swimming pools or football fields, compensates
for the expenditure Correct subject-verb agreement
compensate
winning
international matches
Change preposition
of winning
Nonetheless
, I believe that dedicating funds to building such
specialised sports
facilities
to bring up top athletes would leave other members of society deprived of adequate sporting facilities
. According to
the statistics published in 2020, more than 70% of the world's population have no access to standard and adequate sports
facilities
like Gym or sports
clubs. Wasting money on such
issues and neglecting the whole society's requirements would result in demolishing the public interest in sports
. Having lived without working out, the public is more likely to afflict diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol in older ages.
By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that although
such
discriminations are beneficial in the short-term, the long-term negativities are irreparable most of the time. So, I believe that taking wiser and fairer policies in budgeting is more advisable.Submitted by golriiz.azizi1991 on
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task achievement
While your essay addresses the task and presents a clear viewpoint, ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed. Consider discussing the counter-argument more elaborately for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, you're generally successful in organizing your essay logically. However, smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs could further enhance the flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The example of American athletes in the Olympics is relevant and helps support your point about the benefits of specialized sports facilities.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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