Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #sports #facilities #train #athletes #development

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The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in building specialised

facilities

to bring up prominent athletes, leading to international

sports

. Some may laud its benefits,

while

, in

this

essay, I intend to argue that the disadvantageous of

this

far outweigh its benefits. The reasons for

this

are as follows. First of all, it is an irrefutable fact that reaching international

sports

would bring the country fame and honour. Winning the highest number of golden medals by American athletes in the 2021 Olympics, ranked

this

nation as the most successful sporting country.

Although

these achievements demand tremendous investments in constructing stadiums, swimming pools or football fields,

compensates

Correct subject-verb agreement

compensate

show examples

for the expenditure

winning

Change preposition

of winning

show examples

international matches

Nonetheless

, I believe that dedicating funds to building

such

specialised

sports

facilities

to bring up top athletes would leave other members of society deprived of adequate sporting

facilities

According to

the statistics published in 2020, more than 70% of the world's population have no access to standard and adequate

sports

facilities

like Gym or

sports

clubs. Wasting money on

such

issues and neglecting the whole society's requirements would result in demolishing the public interest in

sports

. Having lived without working out, the public is more likely to afflict diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol in older ages. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that

although

such

discriminations are beneficial in the short-term, the long-term negativities are irreparable most of the time. So, I believe that taking wiser and fairer policies in budgeting is more advisable.

Submitted by golriiz.azizi1991 on Mon Nov 11 2024

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task achievement

While your essay addresses the task and presents a clear viewpoint, ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed. Consider discussing the counter-argument more elaborately for a balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, you're generally successful in organizing your essay logically. However, smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs could further enhance the flow of your writing.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.

task achievement

The example of American athletes in the Olympics is relevant and helps support your point about the benefits of specialized sports facilities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

specialised facilities
train top athletes
international sports
boost
reputation
attract
sporting events
access
general public
inequality
opportunities
overemphasis
elite sports
neglect
grassroots development

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Fully explain your ideas

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