Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #celebrations #weddings #birthdays #waste

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Many

people

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believe that it is important to spend

money

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on family

celebrations

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such

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weddings

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and birthdays,

whereas

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, others argue that

such

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spending is a waste of

money

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This

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essay will examine

this

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question from both points of view and express my own opinion. One reason why it is essential to spend

money

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celebrations

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weddings

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and birthdays are seen as milestones in life. It is a great opportunity to assemble many friends and the whole family in the same place and mark significant events, which can bring

people

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closer.

For example

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, a wedding celebration is not only a time to celebrate the love between two

people

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but

also

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an occasion for families to unite, form new connections and create shared memories.

Similarly

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, a birthday celebration can show someone how much they are valued, and make the person feel appreciated.

Therefore

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, spending

money

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on these

celebrations

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can create joy and lasting memories, which is why many

people

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feel it is crucial.

On the other hand

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, some

people

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argue that spending

money

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on family

celebrations

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is a waste , as It can be unnecessary and spending

this

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money

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for something else. Many believe that extravagant

celebrations

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such

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as luxurious

weddings

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or expensive birthday parties, are not only financially draining but

also

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unnecessary. They think that

this

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value could be spent in many different ways,

such

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as trips or clothes.

For instance

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, it could be better if you pay the same price or less to travel abroad and use

this

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period in another country to learn something new and expand your horizons. In conclusion, I believe that both arguments have their merits. Spending

money

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to celebrate

weddings

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or birthdays is justified. Because in some cases

this

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will be a portion of time that will never be forgotten for some

people

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Submitted by pandatvin3 on Mon Nov 11 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all parts of the essay prompt are addressed thoroughly. While you have discussed both views and given your opinion, providing more specific examples could strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Consider elaborating on your ideas with clearer examples and more detailed explanations. This would improve clarity and provide more comprehensive insights into your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Continue to use cohesive devices effectively to connect your paragraphs and ideas. However, ensure that there are no abrupt transitions or gaps in your logical flow to enhance the overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

Revise sentence structures and grammar to eliminate minor errors, such as misplaced commas and sentence fragments, to achieve greater clarity and precision.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that are well-connected to the main body of the essay.

task achievement

You have presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.

coherence cohesion

The main points are logically organized and supported with relevant examples, contributing to a coherent argument.

task achievement

The essay attempts to justify both perspectives, which aligns well with the task requirement of discussing both views.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
commemorate
festivities
bonding experience
financial strain
budget-friendly
sustainable celebrations
social dynamics
peer pressure
materialism

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Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause stress, and how can we reduce it?

Some people think that to learn a second language well, it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken. What is your opinion about this?

In country where there is a high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hop of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The number of old people is increasing. Some think this will cause problems for countries while others believe old people still have value. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?