Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many
people
believe that it is important to spend money
on family celebrations
such
as weddings
and birthdays, whereas
, others argue that such
spending is a waste of money
. This
essay will examine this
question from both points of view and express my own opinion.
One reason why it is essential to spend money
on celebrations
as weddings
and birthdays are seen as milestones in life. It is a great opportunity to assemble many friends and the whole family in the same place and mark significant events, which can bring people
closer. For example
, a wedding celebration is not only a time to celebrate the love between two people
but also
an occasion for families to unite, form new connections and create shared memories. Similarly
, a birthday celebration can show someone how much they are valued, and make the person feel appreciated.Therefore
, spending money
on these celebrations
can create joy and lasting memories, which is why many people
feel it is crucial.
On the other hand
, some people
argue that spending money
on family celebrations
is a waste , as It can be unnecessary and spending this
money
for something else. Many believe that extravagant celebrations
, such
as luxurious weddings
or expensive birthday parties, are not only financially draining but also
unnecessary. They think that this
value could be spent in many different ways, such
as trips or clothes. For instance
, it could be better if you pay the same price or less to travel abroad and use this
period in another country to learn something new and expand your horizons.
In conclusion, I believe that both arguments have their merits. Spending money
to celebrate weddings
or birthdays is justified. Because in some cases this
will be a portion of time that will never be forgotten for some people
.Submitted by pandatvin3 on
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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the essay prompt are addressed thoroughly. While you have discussed both views and given your opinion, providing more specific examples could strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on your ideas with clearer examples and more detailed explanations. This would improve clarity and provide more comprehensive insights into your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Continue to use cohesive devices effectively to connect your paragraphs and ideas. However, ensure that there are no abrupt transitions or gaps in your logical flow to enhance the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Revise sentence structures and grammar to eliminate minor errors, such as misplaced commas and sentence fragments, to achieve greater clarity and precision.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that are well-connected to the main body of the essay.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically organized and supported with relevant examples, contributing to a coherent argument.
task achievement
The essay attempts to justify both perspectives, which aligns well with the task requirement of discussing both views.
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