Society is becoming obsessed with material good like cars, designer clothes and jewellery. We have stopped carrying about the important things and that is why divorce rates are so high. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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There is no denying that the 21st century has become a highly materialistic
society
, with many people aspiring to lead lavish lifestyles.
This
trend, in turn, has influenced an increase in separations among couples. I personally agree with
this
notion, and in the following paragraphs, I will examine the reasons behind
this
phenomenon.
To begin
with, there are several reasons why materialism contributes to relationship issues in
society
.
Firstly
, many people today are engaged in a "rat race" to earn as much money as possible. Once they become financially stable, they tend to spend their hard-earned money on enhancing their personal appearance and status.
For example
, a study conducted by the University of British Columbia in 2012 found that individuals working in the IT sector spend about 30% of their income on cars and fashion items to project an attractive image and impress their peers.
This
focus on appearances and consumerism can shift priorities away from meaningful relationships, as financial resources are
channeled
Change the spelling
channelled
show examples
toward self-presentation.
On the other hand
, the rise in divorce rates can
also
be linked to financial independence and its impact on relationship dynamics. When individuals achieve financial independence, they may feel they no longer need a partner’s support or advice, leading to feelings of diminished intimacy and respect.
Additionally
, in a consumer-driven world where online platforms like Instagram and Facebook constantly promote luxury products, conflict may arise when one partner wants to make purchases that the other disagrees with.
For example
, if a female partner wishes to buy high-end products and her male partner disagrees,
this
can create friction, ultimately leading to strained relationships and contributing to rising divorce rates.
Furthermore
, many people feel pressured to buy luxury items to gain social respect, as
society
today often associates wealth with status and value. In conclusion,
this
problem arises largely from the prioritization of wealth and status over relationship values in modern
society
. With individuals seeking financial security and societal validation, they often end up focusing on material acquisitions rather than nurturing their relationships, which leads to growing challenges and separations among couples
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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph fully elaborates on a single idea to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Provide more varied examples to support the points and strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking phrases to ensure fluid transition between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion that effectively outline and reaffirm the main points.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas between paragraphs, making the argument easy to follow.
task achievement
The topic is thoroughly addressed, with a balanced discussion on materialism and its impact on relationships.
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