Society is becoming obsessed with material good like cars, designer clothes and jewellery. We have stopped carrying about the important things and that is why divorce rates are so high. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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There is no denying that the 21st century has become a highly materialistic

society

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, with many people aspiring to lead lavish lifestyles.

This

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trend, in turn, has influenced an increase in separations among couples. I personally agree with

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notion, and in the following paragraphs, I will examine the reasons behind

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phenomenon.

To begin

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with, there are several reasons why materialism contributes to relationship issues in

society

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Firstly

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, many people today are engaged in a "rat race" to earn as much money as possible. Once they become financially stable, they tend to spend their hard-earned money on enhancing their personal appearance and status.

For example

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, a study conducted by the University of British Columbia in 2012 found that individuals working in the IT sector spend about 30% of their income on cars and fashion items to project an attractive image and impress their peers.

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focus on appearances and consumerism can shift priorities away from meaningful relationships, as financial resources are

channeled

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channelled

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toward self-presentation.

On the other hand

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, the rise in divorce rates can

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be linked to financial independence and its impact on relationship dynamics. When individuals achieve financial independence, they may feel they no longer need a partner’s support or advice, leading to feelings of diminished intimacy and respect.

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, in a consumer-driven world where online platforms like Instagram and Facebook constantly promote luxury products, conflict may arise when one partner wants to make purchases that the other disagrees with.

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, if a female partner wishes to buy high-end products and her male partner disagrees,

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can create friction, ultimately leading to strained relationships and contributing to rising divorce rates.

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, many people feel pressured to buy luxury items to gain social respect, as

society

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today often associates wealth with status and value. In conclusion,

this

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problem arises largely from the prioritization of wealth and status over relationship values in modern

society

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. With individuals seeking financial security and societal validation, they often end up focusing on material acquisitions rather than nurturing their relationships, which leads to growing challenges and separations among couples

navdeepbajaj89

Nov 12, 2024

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task achievement

Ensure each paragraph fully elaborates on a single idea to enhance clarity.

task achievement

Provide more varied examples to support the points and strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

Use more linking phrases to ensure fluid transition between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Well-structured introduction and conclusion that effectively outline and reaffirm the main points.

coherence cohesion

Logical progression of ideas between paragraphs, making the argument easy to follow.

task achievement

The topic is thoroughly addressed, with a balanced discussion on materialism and its impact on relationships.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

346 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

material goods = things we buy, such as cars, clothes, and jewellery
be obsessed with = care about something too much
status = the respect people think you have in society
wealth = a lot of money or valuable things
lifestyle = the way a person lives
consumer culture = a society where buying things is very important
social pressure = pressure from other people to look successful
financial stress = worry about money
high expectations = wanting too much
relationship breakdown = when a marriage or relationship fails
quality time = time spent together in a close and caring way
shared values = beliefs that both people think are important
trust and respect = two key parts of a strong marriage
work-life balance = giving enough time to both job and family
to neglect = to not give enough care or attention
to drift apart = to become less close over time
marital conflict = serious disagreement between husband and wife
a sense of success = feeling that you are doing well in life
inner values = important personal beliefs, not money or things
to some extent = partly, but not fully

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Society is becoming obsessed with material good like cars, designer clothes and jewellery. We have stopped carrying about the important things and that is why divorce rates are so high. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In the modern world, schools are no longer necessary because there is so much information available through the Internet that students can just as well study at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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