IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefits from this and not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #home #technology #workers #employers
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The Past few years have seen a considerable increase in number of people working remotely. Thanks to technological advancements,
this
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 is easily achievable today. Some people believe that only the workers benefit from
this
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, but I strongly disagree, because both
employees
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 and
employers
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 may benefit. The goal of
This
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 essay is to highlight The upsides of
this
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trend
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 for both business owners and
employees
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. On one hand, I would argue that
employees
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 may benefit from many aspects.
firstly
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, they usually have flexible schedules. To illustrate,
instead
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 of having specific starting and ending hours in the work, staff do their duties flexibly.
Besides
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 that, the most important thing is to achieve their tasks.
Secondly
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, they may save time and effort. To exemplify, a lot of time gets wasted
while
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 commuting to and from the company, so by working from home,
employees
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 can achieve more targets or even relax.
That is
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 why, I believe that
employees
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 take various advantages from
this
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 new
trend
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.
On the other hand
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,
employers
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 usually make the best use of
this
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trend
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 in terms of increased productivity and decreased expenditures.
In other words
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 ,as previously illustrated, when workers are relaxed, they can achieve more tasks, which in turn results in improving total production. Another main advantage is to reduce businesses' total expenses. As an illustration, when the number of professionals decreases inside one company,
this
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 company may save more office areas, water, electricity and so on.
Thus
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 it is obvious that
employers
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also
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 gain benefits. All in all,
due to
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 technological advancement, many people started working from home.
This
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 a
trend
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 which has advantages for
employees
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,
such
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 as flexible working hours and time-saving, and for
employers
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,
such
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 as increasing productivity and saving more money.
Submitted by moo.elnokrashy on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your point of view, while the conclusion should effectively summarize your argument without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with more detailed and specific examples to illustrate your arguments effectively.
task achievement
Focus on expanding your ideas, and avoid repetition. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and offer new information.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and demonstrate advanced coherence skills.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address the prompt and offer a balanced perspective that reflects both sides of the argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on the precision of your language, such as article use ('The Past few years' should be 'The past few years'), to enhance the grammatical range and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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