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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
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The way how to handle bad situations might be diverse for people nowadays, Especially unsatisfactory jobs or a shortage of money. Some agree to receive it and some do not, including me. In my opinion, it is better to improve bad situations and I would like to discuss it in the next few sentences. Unsatisfactory situations
such
 as work and money issues should be improved, if it does not align with our needs or passion, plenty of people resign from their current duty because their income can not afford to finance excesses. As a sample, parents who have children will not be able to provide money
while
 the need increases. Responsible parents will not remain, they have to take the wheel by working double for additional income or apply for better work.
On the other hand
, some might prefer to leave their current job because they eventually discover their true passion, as a sample, we see numerous employees find themselves are excellent entrepreneurs when they challenge themselves to the new opportunity for a better situation. In comparison, not every person has the nerve to surge their circumstances.
Hence
, they tend to accept the poor circumstances without attempting another opportunity.
For instance
, millennial generations nowadays choose to dwell in their current condition because afraid of losing jobs or facing risks.
as a result
, they start to feel comfortable and undeveloped even if it affects many aspects of their lives.
Overall
, Improving bad conditions works for people who have obstacles in finance and boosts them to step out and aspire to preferable conditions. Meanwhile, the others choose to face it and remain in the safe zone.
Submitted by mutiaraanggun1995 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate on the examples provided to better illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next by using linking words and expressions.
task achievement
Develop your conclusion to succinctly summarize both views and reinforce your opinion.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and reflects your opinion. This sets a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully discussed both views, maintaining a balanced perspective throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is evident, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
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