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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and friends. Other people believe that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. Compare the advantages of these two different ways of learning about life. Which do you think is preferable? Use specific examples to support your preference.

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Introduction
More and more people think that the advice of family and close friends is the most appropriate way to learn about life,
while
Linking Words
 others claim that personal experiences are more beneficial. From my perspective, both opinions are equally important for two reasons.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, I would argue that experiences throughout their history can affect their lives in a positive way. The argument is that an individual goes through many experiments in order to obtain the right
information
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.
This
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 process will decrease the amount of unreliable
information
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, which in turn facilitates making the right choice. A study conducted by the Department of Social Sciences at Melbourne University in 2025 concluded that 85% of facts and reliable definitions are based on past experiments.
Therefore
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,
information
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 quality will be enhanced
due to
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 the presence of
this
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 strategy.
Body paragraph 2
Conversely
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, I am convinced that advising family members and close colleagues can positively influence future plans. What I mean is that a person asks those members in an effort to get their
information
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that is
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 based on their previous mistakes without any side effects.
This
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 method is able to achieve objectives without any new negative impacts, ultimately leading to an improvement in quality of life.
For instance
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, an employee wants to buy a new and high-quality car and asks their friend who works as a mechanical engineer about the appropriate one.
As a result
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, the objective is likely to be achieved if that method is taken into account.
Conclusion
In conclusion, a significant number of people argue that learning life by family members and friends is the best approach,
while
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 another group believes personal experiences is more reliable method.

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task response
Answer every part of the question. You compare both ways, but you do not clearly choose one as better. In the last part, say which way you prefer and give a clear reason.
task response
Keep your main idea clear. The first body part says personal experience gives good information, but the point is not fully explained. Show how a real life event teaches a person to make better choices later.
task response
Use more real and direct examples. The car example fits advice from a friend, but add a personal example for learning through experience, such as making a poor money choice and learning to save.
task response
Do not use an unclear study unless you can explain it well. The sentence about Melbourne University does not clearly support learning about life. A simple life example would be stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. However, the end only repeats both views. It should also state your own final choice.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part follow one simple order: main point, reason, example, and short result. This will help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. “First of all” and “Conversely” help, but some links are not natural, such as “due to the presence of this strategy.” Use simple links like “because,” “so,” “for example,” and “as a result.”
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the words are too general. For example, replace “this method” and “that method” with “asking a mechanic friend for advice” or “learning from your own mistake.”
task response
You discuss both personal experience and advice from family or friends, so your essay stays on the main topic.
task response
The example of asking a mechanic friend before buying a car is relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is divided into clear parts: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful linking words, such as “First of all,” “Conversely,” “For instance,” and “As a result.”
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leverage
  • wisdom
  • pitfalls
  • informed decisions
  • trials and errors
  • impactful
  • memorable
  • foster
  • resilience
  • navigate
  • guidance
  • well-rounded
  • anecdotal evidence
  • theoretical
  • persuasive
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