Some people say that self-employment is better than a job in a company or an institution. Discuss your opinion and give reasons to support your answer.

#people #self-employment #job #company #institution #support

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Everyone aspires to live a fulfilling life, which generally requires working and earning.

While

some may prefer a high-paying position in a company, others opt for entrepreneurship to pursue their passions and maintain independence. I favour the latter, as

self-employment

offers unique benefits.

Firstly

, self-employed individuals often work on projects they love, which is a key motivation for becoming entrepreneurs.

This

passion drives them to put in extra effort, continuously learning and improving their craft. Over time, they gain valuable experience and confidence.

Additionally

, with ample information available online, starting a business has become easier.

For example

, many influencers thrive by sharing their interests in videos on topics like travelling, painting, or cooking. Numerous graduates have even declined lucrative job offers to start their own ventures, finding both satisfaction and success.

By contrast

, traditional jobs can sometimes require working on tasks one may not enjoy, potentially lowering confidence and interest.

Moreover

self-employment

allows individuals to be their own boss, fostering a sense of responsibility and requiring knowledge of all aspects of the business. Entrepreneurs must manage multiple facets, from building client relationships to marketing and quality control, which may not be expected in a traditional job.

While

this

involves risk, it

also

promotes a deeper commitment.

In contrast

, regular employees are usually only responsible for their specific duties and may not feel accountable for their department’s success or failure. In conclusion, I advocate for

self-employment

over traditional jobs, as it allows freedom to work on what one loves with complete independence, despite the increased responsibility and risk.

Although

it may not suit everyone, the rewards of

self-employment

make it an attractive path for those who seek fulfilment and growth.

Submitted by mbasheerdange on Tue Nov 12 2024

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task achievement

While the essay contains well-articulated points, ensure all arguments are equally developed for better balance.

coherence cohesion

Try to include more varied linking words and phrases to further enhance the cohesive flow of ideas.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear and well-supported argument favoring self-employment, fulfilling the task requirements effectively.

coherence cohesion

Ideas are logically structured, with a clear progression from introduction to conclusion and well-supported main points.

coherence cohesion

Effective introduction and conclusion, setting the tone and summarizing the main argument eloquently.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Some people say that self-employment is better than a job in a company or an institution. Discuss your opinion and give reasons to support your answer.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

does being famous are more advantages or more disadvantages

Some people say that it is individual responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government's primary role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Robot and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Some prefer hobbies that require technology while other people prefer hobbies that don't require technology. Discuss both views and give your opinion.