nowadays many people smoke what causes this and what are effects

In recent years, the number of people who consume cigarettes has increased drastically
due to
adults' facing stress at the workplace
as well as
youngsters' trying to create a better image.
However
, I firmly assert that
this
phenomenon has adverse effects on people's health and budget.
This
essay will elucidate both the reasons and the consequences of
this
. A primary factor leading to smoking is stress at the workplace.
This
arises because employees are given a huge amount of tasks, requiring intensive effort to fulfil in a short time.
For example
,
according to
a study, 90% of office clerks are expected to carry out multitasking including not only forming statistics but
also
having a good relationship with customers.
As a consequence
of
this
, people take up smoking, thinking that
this
approach alleviates their stress. Another reason which is worth mentioning is that the youth smoke in order to imitate adults, thinking that they can demonstrate better images of themselves.
As a result
, youngster have a propensity for smoking to boost their authority in society.
Nevertheless
, it is important to recognize that smoking has detrimental effects. Primarily,
this
causes severe health issues
such
as lung cancer as cigarettes contain various chemicals that damage consumers' respiratory systems.
For instance
, statistics in Kazakhstan show that 30% of smokers lose their lives because of heavy smoking.
Furthermore
, There are economic consequences to smoking, both for individuals, who spend a significant amount on tobacco products, and society, which bears healthcare costs associated with treating smoking-related diseases.
To conclude
, the primary causes of smoking include stressful workplaces and youngsters' attempts to copy adults.
Nonetheless
, I am a proponent of the view that the ramifications of
this
are beyond our control, causing not only severe health issues but
also
affecting the societies' finances.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, which greatly aids coherence and cohesion. However, consider using more transitional phrases to smoothly guide the reader from one point to the next.
Task Achievement
Your response fully addresses the task, but try to explore each reason with more depth to enhance the overall comprehension of your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, clearly stating your main points and drawing precise conclusions.
Task Achievement
You included relevant and specific examples to support your main ideas, which significantly strengthens the argument.

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Peer pressure
  • Social influences
  • Tobacco companies
  • Advertising
  • Glamorizes
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Nicotine addiction
  • Dependence
  • Respiratory diseases
  • Heart disease
  • Cancer
  • Life expectancy
  • Secondhand smoke
  • Economic consequences
  • Healthcare costs
  • Premature wrinkles
  • Self-esteem
  • Social relationships
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