nowadays many people smoke what causes this and what are effects

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In recent years, the number of people who consume cigarettes has increased drastically
due to
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adults' facing stress at the workplace
as well as
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youngsters' trying to create a better image.
However
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, I firmly assert that
this
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phenomenon has adverse effects on people's health and budget.
This
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essay will elucidate both the reasons and the consequences of
this
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. A primary factor leading to smoking is stress at the workplace.
This
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arises because employees are given a huge amount of tasks, requiring intensive effort to fulfil in a short time.
For example
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,
according to
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a study, 90% of office clerks are expected to carry out multitasking including not only forming statistics but
also
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having a good relationship with customers.
As a consequence
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of
this
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, people take up smoking, thinking that
this
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approach alleviates their stress. Another reason which is worth mentioning is that the youth smoke in order to imitate adults, thinking that they can demonstrate better images of themselves.
As a result
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, youngster have a propensity for smoking to boost their authority in society.
Nevertheless
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, it is important to recognize that smoking has detrimental effects.
Firstly
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,
this
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causes severe health issues
such
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as lung cancer as cigarettes contain various chemicals that damage consumers' respiratory systems.
For instance
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, statistics in Kazakhstan show that 30% of smokers lose their lives
due to
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heavy smoking.
Furthermore
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, There are economic consequences to smoking, both for individuals, who spend a significant amount on tobacco products, and society, which bears healthcare costs associated with treating smoking-related diseases.
To conclude
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, the primary causes of smoking include stressful workplaces and youngsters' attempts to copy adults.
Nonetheless
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, I strongly believe that the consequences of
this
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are beyond our control, causing not only severe health issues but
also
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affecting the societies' finances.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly develops a single main idea and logically supports the thesis statement. Your essay is mostly coherent, but focusing on clearer transitions between ideas will enhance coherence.
task achievement
Make sure each part of your response fully addresses the task. Your essay thoroughly discusses causes and effects but could mention counterarguments or additional perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the main points and addressing the topic.
task achievement
Strong support for arguments with relevant examples about workplace stress and youth's desire to imitate adults.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and thesis, setting the stage for a comprehensive discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Peer pressure
  • Social influences
  • Tobacco companies
  • Advertising
  • Glamorizes
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Nicotine addiction
  • Dependence
  • Respiratory diseases
  • Heart disease
  • Cancer
  • Life expectancy
  • Secondhand smoke
  • Economic consequences
  • Healthcare costs
  • Premature wrinkles
  • Self-esteem
  • Social relationships
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