Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life becomes meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #work #people’s #life #success #career

this

world, having a job with better pay is vital for a living. Some people argue that without a successful profession, a person's career is not complete. I completely agree with

this

statement and the following essay states points and supports my opinion.

Firstly

, we need money to run a family. If we have good work with better pay

then

we can lead the family without financial struggles.

Additionally

, performing well in the field leads to promotion with salary hikes.

Hence

, we can spend more budget for the family.

This

makes the individual's life successful.

For example

, in Kerala, there is a survey conducted by the authorities among older parents, revealing that they are happy with their children who earn more and are in good company in society.

Secondly

, having a decent job in an area that the individual likes makes them happier and more satisfied. A task without satisfaction leads to stress and depression.

Moreover

, in

such

a situation, youngsters cannot find meaning in their lives.They do a profession to get the salary to run the family and to get a position in society.

For instance

, most of the workers in the IT field are not facing motivation because of their uninterest in the work and pressure from the management. In conclusion, in my opinion, having a job with good pay and satisfaction makes an individual's life worthwhile and relaxed. Without those things, youngsters feel ignored by their loved ones and depressed in their careers.

Therefore

it is important that we consider work as the most viable option for success in life.

Submitted by mohsen.souri93 on Sat Jul 27 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction is clear but can be further strengthened by rephrasing to avoid repetition and to improve fluency. Consider a slight rewording to maintain the reader's interest.

coherence cohesion

There is a strong logical structure in your essay, but some points can be interconnected better. For instance, linking the financial stability point more closely with life satisfaction can enhance coherence.

task achievement

Your examples are relevant and specific, which is good. However, you might want to provide a slightly more detailed example for the second main point for better clarity and impact.

task achievement

The introduction clearly states your agreement with the statement and sets up the essay's structure well.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion, which enhances the essay's overall coherence.

task achievement

The essay provides specific examples that are relevant and help in effectively supporting the arguments presented.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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