Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life becomes meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
In
this
world, having a job with better pay is vital for a living. Some people argue that without a successful profession, a person's career is not complete. I completely agree with this
statement and the following essay states points and supports my opinion.
Firstly
, we need money to run a family. If we have good work with better pay then
we can lead the family without financial struggles. Additionally
, performing well in the field leads to promotion with salary hikes. Hence
, we can spend more budget for the family. This
makes the individual's life successful. For example
, in Kerala, there is a survey conducted by the authorities among older parents, revealing that they are happy with their children who earn more and are in good company in society.
Secondly
, having a decent job in an area that the individual likes makes them happier and more satisfied. A task without satisfaction leads to stress and depression. Moreover
, in such
a situation, youngsters cannot find meaning in their lives.They do a profession to get the salary to run the family and to get a position in society. For instance
, most of the workers in the IT field are not facing motivation because of their uninterest in the work and pressure from the management.
In conclusion, in my opinion, having a job with good pay and satisfaction makes an individual's life worthwhile and relaxed. Without those things, youngsters feel ignored by their loved ones and depressed in their careers. Therefore
it is important that we consider work as the most viable option for success in life.Submitted by mohsen.souri93 on
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task achievement
Your introduction is clear but can be further strengthened by rephrasing to avoid repetition and to improve fluency. Consider a slight rewording to maintain the reader's interest.
coherence cohesion
There is a strong logical structure in your essay, but some points can be interconnected better. For instance, linking the financial stability point more closely with life satisfaction can enhance coherence.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and specific, which is good. However, you might want to provide a slightly more detailed example for the second main point for better clarity and impact.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your agreement with the statement and sets up the essay's structure well.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion, which enhances the essay's overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples that are relevant and help in effectively supporting the arguments presented.