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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think school should only teach academic subject. Others think school should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. Discuss both view and give you own opinion.

It is sometimes argued that school-aged
children
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 should exclusively spend their time learning scientific and educational topics,
while
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 others subscribe to the view that
this
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 opportunity should be taken advantage of, in order to teach them about ethical merits.
While
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 both ideas might be correct to some extent, I believe it is irresponsible of the educational institutes to neglect
children
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’s moral upbringing. One reason that some are opposed to discussing ideological topics with
children
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 at educational facilities, is the fact that it is hard to draw a line between what’s right and wrong
,
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 when we factor in thousands of religions or schools of thought that people subscribe to. If the school’s ethical education, contradicts parents’ upbringing method, it may end up confusing
children
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.
Additionally
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, the school’s purpose should be to equip
children
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 with adequate knowledge to prepare them for interacting with the world, meanwhile, with science being infinite and ever-expanding, most of their time should be focused on giving pupils a grasp on the fundamentals of different academic subjects.
Furthermore
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, it is undeniable that if the younger generation, isn’t provided with knowledge about the societal merits
by
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of
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the
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apply
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educational facilities, they cannot be expected to be capable of functioning as a committing member of society in the future. If a group of young people are left unintended ethically, they might turn out ignorant and arrogant adults. For the aforementioned reasons, teaching
children
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 to discriminate right and wrong based on a nation’s culture, is crucial to raise a responsible generation of adults. In conclusion, I would argue that
although
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 it is advisable to dedicate the majority of school hours to teaching students about academic topics, instilling ethical values during
this
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 time period shouldn’t be overlooked.

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task achievement
Consider incorporating more specific examples to illustrate your points, especially in the body paragraphs. This can help strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs clearly and coherently connect to the central thesis. A few sentences could be clearer in linking back to your main argument.
structure
Your introduction clearly presents both views and establishes a solid thesis statement. The conclusion effectively reiterates your position.
content
You presented compelling reasons for the importance of ethical education, displaying good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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