Even though doctors all over the world agree that fast food is bad for people's health, more and more people are eating it. Why are more people eating fast food? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevent examples from your own knowledge of experience.

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Introduction

In today’s fast-forwarding world, it is

fact

Correct article usage

a fact

show examples

that the use of fast

food

Use synonyms

surprisingly going higher and higher which leads to damage individual’s health. In my opinion, one of the major

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

using fast foods in many countries is the shortage of time that

people

Use synonyms

face

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

. It should investigated

peoperly

Correct your spelling

properly

to solve

this

Linking Words

subject.

Body · 1

Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all over the world

needs

Correct subject-verb agreement

need

show examples

to work outside as all the living expenses are so high and spouses

also

Linking Words

work together in order to gain more.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they have little time to spend on cooking.

Body · 2

Another reason is the great advertisements which

being

Add a missing verb

are being

show examples

done by TV programs or magazines, tempting everybody to use fast

food

Use synonyms

. Now, parents are paying more attention to their children's needs regardless

how

Change preposition

of how

show examples

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

logically

Change the word

logical

show examples

they are. They are

about

Correct word choice

able

show examples

to provide

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

needs even if children

addicted

Add a missing verb

are addicted

show examples

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

fast foods or so.

Body · 3

We all

nkow

Correct your spelling

know

that obesity, high

cholestrol

Correct your spelling

cholesterol

diabete

Correct your spelling

diabetes

and laziness are some outcomes of fast

food

Use synonyms

, and if it is neglected, may lead to serious health problems.

Body · 4

I think nutrition experts are expected to offer more warning programs to

people

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about

this

Linking Words

matter.

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

should spend a special budget on giving

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

people

Use synonyms

about

this

Linking Words

subject.

For example

Linking Words

, making animation with warning messages for the children is one way to make them aware of it or

cooking

Correct article usage

a cooking

show examples

class which

learn

Verb problem

teaches

show examples

how to prepare healthy

food

Use synonyms

short

Correct article usage

a short

show examples

timeseem

Correct your spelling

time seem

time seems

to be useful in solving

this

Linking Words

problem.

Conclusion

To recapitulate,

according to

Linking Words

aforementioned, it can be

finally

Linking Words

commented that there are several causes of fast

food

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as obesity,

diabete

Correct your spelling

diabetes

and high

cholestrol

Correct your spelling

cholesterol

However

Linking Words

, the

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

solutions,

such

Linking Words

as spreading awareness among

people

Use synonyms

from nutrition

expert

Fix the agreement mistake

experts

show examples

and

promote

Wrong verb form

promoting

show examples

animation or cooking

class

Fix the agreement mistake

classes

show examples

can solve the problem.

Darshita@8612

Nov 13, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on making your arguments clearer and more logically organized, so the progression of your essay is easy to follow.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and details to support your points, making them more relatable and convincing.

coherence cohesion

You introduced and concluded the essay effectively; now ensure the core points in between are equally strong.

task achievement

Try to use more complex sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the writing quality.

coherence cohesion

You have successfully introduced and concluded the essay, maintaining a clear focus on the topic.

task achievement

Your concern for health issues and proposed solutions like government intervention shows insightful thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

292 words

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