Write about the following topic. It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Recently, people have highly discussed those whose work has been a turning point in the progress of the whole world. It is argued that their big impact is grounded in an unbalanced life fully dedicated to their jobs rather than other less-formal fields. I believe every person should spend their
time
evenly in both work and non-professional activities.
The first point to consider is that people can abandon their physical health
if they spend all the
Change the word
their
time
on
addressing job duties. Many citizens get their hands full with work to foster their intellectual development, which leaves them with no Change preposition
apply
time
to spend in
keeping fit. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, their physical health
is abandoned, leading to a dramatic decrease in their own productivity. This
highlights the important role our physical health
plays in our lives in both professional and personal fields. Thus
, it is essential to have a work-life balance.
A further
consideration is that people´s mental health
can be negatively impacted by focusing the bulk of our
Correct pronoun usage
their
time
in
job issues. From a biological standpoint, humans are social. Change preposition
on
Thus
, it is essential for our correct development to share strong bonds with other individuals. If we spend 24 hours per day addressing non-personal duties, our relationships with relatives and friends can be diminished, leading to a modest drop in our own productivity. This
way, not only matters
succeeding in our jobVerb problem
does
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
in our social interactions to
protect our mental Fix the infinitive
apply
health
.
To sum up
, in recent years people who have positively guided the success of world´s
populations have been debated. Not having a work-life balance can highly compromise citizens´ Correct article usage
the world´s
health
, whose mental and physical condition can also
affect the way they perform in their jobs. I strongly believe every person should enrich their daily routines evenly with both professional and social activities.Submitted by r.garciaplez on
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task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task and have addressed the question well. However, try to include more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are as detailed and comprehensive as possible. Expanding on why work-life balance impacts health with additional specifics could enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Consider using smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong and clear introduction and conclusion, setting up and summarizing your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical organization to your essay, with each paragraph supporting your main point about the importance of work-life balance for health.
task achievement
You effectively highlight the relevance of both physical and mental health in relation to work-life balance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.