IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are interested in applying for a scholarship program to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to inquire about the course. In your letter: •explain which course you are interested in •say what you know about the university • explain why you should receive the scholarship

#scholarship #program #study #university #course #•explain #•say
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir/
madam
Capitalize word
Madam
show examples
, Hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am writing
this
 letter to express my interest in applying for a scholarship program at your
University
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international students. My name is Navdeep
bajaj
Capitalize word
Bajaj
show examples
 and I live in India. As I have passed my graduation in Civil Engineering with
A
Correct article usage
an A
show examples
grade ,I want to
enrolled
Wrong verb form
enrol
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
a Master
show examples
Master
Change noun form
Master's
show examples
 program at your
University
.
As according
Change preposition
According to
show examples
 research and my past t
studies
Add a comma
studies,
show examples
 I think that
Project
Correct article usage
the Project
show examples
 management course will be
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
best suited
Add a hyphen
best-suited
show examples
 course as
Correct article usage
a relevancy
show examples
relevancy
Replace the word
relevant
show examples
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
.
Apart from
this
 , I have already google information about the
university
 . I
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 to
knew
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 that Macewan
University
 is well-
known
Correct article usage
a known
show examples
University
 in Alberta state and more importantly it is one of the top ten
university
Change to a plural noun
universities
show examples
 in
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 which
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
show examples
 me to take admission.
Last
 but
least
Rephrase
not least
show examples
, as I had completed my graduation with good
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
 and passed my language test with 8 bands, I found myself
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
avail scholarship program at your
University
 for international students. Looking forward to hearing a positive and prompt response from your side. Yours sincerely, Navdeep
Submitted by navdeepbajaj89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively by separating each main idea into its own paragraph. This will enhance the clarity and structure of your letter.
task achievement
Include more specific details about your achievements or experiences that make you a strong candidate for the scholarship.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and closing of the letter are polite and appropriate, maintaining a respectful tone throughout.
task achievement
You express your interest in both the course and the university clearly, providing a basic understanding of your goals.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inquire about
  • scholarship program
  • foreign university
  • course of interest
  • field of study
  • academic achievements
  • extracurricular involvement
  • career goals
  • unique aspects
  • reputation and ranking
  • faculty and research centers
  • strong candidate
  • support my aspirations
  • pursue my passion
  • enhancing my skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: