Question: children are Facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social, and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of this pressure and what measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?

#children #pressures #perspectives #pressure #measures

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The modern

education

Use synonyms

system has become a high-

pressure

Use synonyms

environment, exerting immense stress on

students

Use synonyms

from academic, social, and commercial perspectives.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon has significant implications for

students

Use synonyms

' mental and emotional well-being, ultimately affecting their

overall

Linking Words

quality of life. The primary causes of

this

Linking Words

pressure

Use synonyms

are the increasingly competitive nature of

education

Use synonyms

and the emphasis on standardized testing.

For instance

Linking Words

, in India,

students

Use synonyms

face immense

pressure

Use synonyms

to perform well in the Joint Entrance Examination (JEE) for admission to prestigious institutions like the Indian Institutes of Technology (IITs). The fierce competition for limited seats leads to an overwhelming focus on exam preparation, compromising

students

Use synonyms

' creative and extracurricular pursuits.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, social media platforms perpetuate unrealistic expectations and promote consumerism, fueling the desire for material success. Commercialization of

education

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

contributes to

this

Linking Words

pressure

Use synonyms

, as institutions prioritize profit over

student

Use synonyms

welfare. To mitigate

this

Linking Words

pressure

Use synonyms

, educators and policymakers must implement measures to promote a holistic learning environment. Schools can adopt flexible assessment methods, focusing on individual progress rather than standardized scores. Incorporating mindfulness, physical

education

Use synonyms

, and creative activities into curricula can help

students

Use synonyms

manage stress.

Additionally

Linking Words

, institutions should prioritize

student

Use synonyms

well-being over profit, ensuring adequate resources and support services.

For example

Linking Words

, the Atal Tinkering Labs initiative in Indian schools encourages innovation, creativity, and hands-on learning, reducing emphasis on rote memorization.

Moreover

Linking Words

, initiatives like the Central Board of Secondary

Education

Use synonyms

's (CBSE) "Happiness Curriculum" aim to cultivate emotional intelligence and well-being. In conclusion, the pressing issue of

student

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

can be effectively addressed by recognizing the detrimental effects of competitive testing and commercialization

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and implementing holistic

education

Use synonyms

reforms that prioritize

student

Use synonyms

well-being, individual growth, and creative development.

Submitted by drnivyamohan1992 on Thu Nov 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to clearly differentiate between academic, social, and commercial pressures in different sections.

task achievement

Try to add more examples or case studies to support your points, possibly from various countries for a broader perspective.

coherence cohesion

Link the causes and the solutions more directly to make the transitions between paragraphs smoother.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly outlines the issue at hand, setting a focused context for the rest of the essay.

complete response

The essay tackles the task effectively by suggesting both causes and solutions.

relevant specific examples

Provides specific examples, particularly from the Indian education system, to support points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think that the news channels and media nowadays have sensationalised and influenced people’s lives in negative ways. Others disagree and say that it is also positive. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is no doubt that we live in an era in which technology is more sophisticated as well it creates so few chances for folks. Some individuals believe that social media and channels have a huge negative impact on our people's lifestyles but others believe that it is more beneficial. In the following paragraphs, both sides will be discussed and a final opinion will be reached.
7.5
band
Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a belief that school aims to make children become ethical residents and labourers while others assert that youngsters should be benefited as individuals. Personally, this writer totally disagrees with this statement and will explain it in the following sections.
5.5
band
Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.
There is an ever increasing use of technology, such as tablets and laptops, in the classroom. It is commonly believed that this is a positive development, whilst there are others who postulate it will lead to adverse ramifications. In my Opinion, I believe that an increase in technology is beneficial to students and teachers.
7
band
Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The ways to prepare for the future are not without graduating from university and getting experience and skills. While both of them are beneficial, I agree that completing studies at university is more essential.
6.5
band
Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money. What do you think are the reasons? What are the solutions to this problem?
It is true that most students have been managing their finances incorrectly after graduation. There are a variety of possible reasons for this, while steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problem.

Question: children are Facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social, and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of this pressure and what measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that the news channels and media nowadays have sensationalised and influenced people’s lives in negative ways. Others disagree and say that it is also positive. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money. What do you think are the reasons? What are the solutions to this problem?