Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem and it may lead to the extiction of animal life and human life. Do you agree or disagree?

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Cutting down
trees
in the forest causes a huge problem not just for the environment, but
also
for people. I believe that
this
results in
animals
and
humans
being completely removed from
this
world in the future. There are many effects of logging in the rainforest, land erosion is one of them. Since
trees
are being cut down, there is no other way to prevent soil from eroding.
For instance
, the Sierra Madre mountain in the Philippines where it is commonly experiencing typhoons yearly.
Moreover
,
this
mountain serves as the country's barrier that helps slow down and decrease rainfall.
However
, nowadays, it is evident that a large portion of the mountain is already damaged because of mining. So, every time the country experiences stronger typhoons, landslides usually occur in the area affecting people's houses
,
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and even causing an increased mortality rate.
Furthermore
, in
this
situation, it is not only
humans
that are affected, but
also
animals
and other living creatures. Some animal's source of food comes from
trees
and plants, a living thing where birds create their home. When time passes and
trees
and forests are no longer visible, they
also
cannot survive leading to a slow decrease in their number and eventually becoming extinct.
Therefore
, when forests are gone,
animals
will be in extinction too. In conclusion, the logging of rainforests affects all living organisms like
humans
and
animals
. Destroying
this
ecosystem results in catastrophic environmental events
such
as landslides and floods that can cause the death of
animals
and
humans
.
Submitted by cng123 on

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task achievement
Try to add more specific examples to support your main points. It will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Some transitional phrases or linking words could be used more frequently to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your main ideas related to the impact of deforestation were clear and well articulated.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • sustainable
  • ecosystem
  • carbon emissions
  • indigenous communities
  • sustainable forest management
  • desertification
  • ecological balance
  • water cycle
  • carbon dioxide absorption
  • habitat destruction
  • environmental degradation
  • climate change impact
  • economic losses
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