IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish.

The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish.
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The graph illustrates the technique of production of
fish
Use synonyms
 which is smoked in a factory.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 process consists of 13 stages which
begins
Correct subject-verb agreement
begin
show examples
 by catching
fish
Use synonyms
 from the oceans or sees and
ends
Correct subject-verb agreement
end
show examples
 by delivering the
done
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
product to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shops or
market places
Correct your spelling
marketplaces
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
fish
Use synonyms
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
 for customers.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the starting point
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of
net
Correct article usage
a net
show examples
 and boat
fish
Use synonyms
 are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
caught and
then
Linking Words
 replaced
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the port.
Followed
Wrong verb form
Following
show examples
this
Linking Words
, the freezing stage starts and the
fish
Use synonyms
 will be frost in
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
 box. After that, the important phase sets in motion,
fish
Use synonyms
 will be contained to the specific equipment for smoking.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, already smoked
fish
Use synonyms
 will be washed with salt water which contains yellow
coloring
Change the spelling
colouring
show examples
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, the
fish
Use synonyms
 will be cleaned with fresh water and placed
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the boxes. Afterwards, they will be frost until 0
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 and
finally
Linking Words
 will be transported to the stores.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words fish with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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