Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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According to

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a recent study, an individual’s born nature outweighs external

experiences

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regarding

personality

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development

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and personal growth. From my perspective, even though genetic predisposition plays a crucial role in developmental results, distinguished

life

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events we encounter later serve as decisive factors.

This

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essay will address the reasons behind it with examples to support it.

To begin

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with, the outside environment hugely impacts human brain

development

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in the early stage. Experience during these periods will define people’s cognitive abilities, including logical thinking and social skills.

For instance

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, scientific studies suggested that neglected youngsters who didn’t receive abundant affection and company from their parents or caregivers are more likely to suffer from insecurities, anxieties and depression when they grow up. What’s worse, some will develop borderline

personality

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disorder,

such

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as a sense of emptiness, abandonment issues, and severe mood swings that are detrimental to their social

life

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and reasonable thinking.

Consequently

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, they won’t be able to see the essence through appearance when tackling issues, losing confidence in themselves.

Moreover

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, the significance of adaptability in human civilizations highlights the efficiency of outside learning. Individuals who navigate significant adversities often emerge with enhanced resilience and distinct perspectives, indicating that challenging

experiences

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can promote growth and the

development

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of positive

personality

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attributes.

For example

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, if one’s

personality

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and mentality can’t fit in today’s society, adjustments are required.

Otherwise

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this

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individual will be subjected to isolation, mental issues, and other negative

experiences

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. Since

life

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trajectories are ever-changing, only keeping up with them could make people thrive and evolve.

This

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suggests that the change of born personal traits is a sure path

due to

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the influence of the external environment. In conclusion,

although

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genetic predispositions provide a foundational framework for

personality

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and

development

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, the

experiences

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encountered throughout one's

life

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exert a more profound and transformative effect. Early childhood experience can define an individual’s

personality

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and brain function in the later period,

as well as

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the adaptability cultivated through the natural course of

life

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, showing that external environments are the predominant factor in shaping our

personality

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traits and developmental directions.

d22093870Tue Sep 03 2024

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task achievement

Consider elaborating on how specific genetic traits may influence personality to balance your argument. Although the essay leans more towards the influence of experiences, mentioning genetics in slightly more detail would provide a more comprehensive view and show a balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

While the main points are clear and well-organized, linking words or phrases that guide the reader through your argument can make your essay more cohesive. For instance, phrases like 'on the other hand', 'in addition', or 'furthermore' when introducing new points or counterpoints.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly outlines your perspective and sets the stage beautifully for the arguments that follow. This clarity and focus give a strong impression of your essay’s direction from the outset.

supported main points

Examples provided are relevant and well-integrated into the body of the essay. Particularly, the example about neglected children developing psychological issues stands out as it directly ties to your main argument.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

nature vs. nurture debate
genetic inheritance
personality traits
behavior patterns
heritability
twins studies
malleable characteristics
upbringing
environmental influences
critical periods
language acquisition
worldview
innate traits
personal experiences
psychological development
epigenetics
adaptive behaviors
cultural imprinting
temperament
social conditioning

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